A Merry Arkham Christmas!
by DarkDevilKnight
Summary: The third story of the Deadpool Arkham Series! (prologue to Batman Arkham Knight) Its Christmas within Arkham City and Deadpool intends to spend it with Harley, but what's this? Gang Wars? A Terrorist Organization? And a Bounty on his head? This maybe the best Christmas in Wade's life EVER! Also with special Marvel character appearance made.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note**

**Hello folks its me again DDK here to bring you another story of what I like to call: Deadpool Arkham series, now this would be like a prologue of Batman: Arkham Knight and that this story would be mix in with Arkham Origins and abit of Injustice: Gos Among Us, and other DC/Marvel characters, and maybe one OC character that I had in mind or atleast I think so we'll see. So hope you enjoy now!**

**DDK does not own Deadpool or Batman**

"speaking"

_"thoughts_"

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the idiot side**

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the smark side**

Chapter 1: Twas a night before Deadpool!

Roman Sionis sat down behind his desk within his office as he was alone on Christmas Eve just thinking of the aftermath of Arkham City a few weeks ago, while the large prison had been shut down after the death of Hugo Strange there are still those that still live as residents and that the GCPD were unable to catch every criminal convict to be put in Black Gate prison, the reason for this was becuase of one man: Deadpool.

Already the Merc with the Mouth had made his mark of claiming Akrham City by taking the role of becomming 'Mayor' of the large prison, Mayor Quincy Sharp had already claimed him "The worst disease in Gotham ever since The Jokers death" and their had been many attempts of capturing Deadpool yet so far non succeeded. And part of the reason is the sudden unexplained absence of Gothams fearsome Dark Knight that is known as Batman, yet even though this provide oppertunities for criminal lowlife thugs to cease a chance to commit crimes they were still stopped by other mask vigilanties such as Robin,Nightwing, Huntress, and any others that were within Gotham City.

There were also rumors that Bane had reunited his old gang of ruthless mercenaries and had declared a gang war with Deadpool, along with rumors of returning villians, some had spotted Killer Croc within the Gotham sewers, Scarecrow was also rumored to be alive but in hiding, and there was one with Deathstroke still within Gotham City but Roman believe that his partner may have had something to do about it. Sionis was brought out of his thoughts when he felt his cellphone vibrate within the pockets of his suit that he pulled it out to receive a text message from his partner then would pick up the phone on his desk and dialed the number before waiting on the other end to pick up.

With Deadpool and company

December 24th around 5:30pm, the entire Steel Mill was decorated with Christmas decorations around, in the loading bay there was a large christmas tree in the center of the room and on the floor were groups of people, the men were all dressed up in winter street clothing while wearing red mask that resembles Deadpools only without the white eye lid's that shows the persons eyes, these show symbols of being part of Deadpool's gang. Accompany them were a group of attractive women that wore bikini tops, short skirts, and thigh high boots, a long story short Wade had made some random calls of pulling in favors, as well death threats, to a bunch of owners that own Strip Clubs in and outside of Gotham for entertainment to his Christmas Party.

Meanwhile within the office/apartment we find our favorite Merc with the Mouth sitting in his chair watching a movie on the television, the movie was a christmas gift he got from the Author a couple days ago that was called _Batman: Assault on Arkham_, however just as the scene shows of Harley being reunited with Joker a gunshot was made and the television screen was destroyed as Wade held up a pistol in his hand with steam comming out from the barrel.

"Damn it fucking hell! That's the eighty-fourth television that I just broke just by watching this damn movie!" Wade shouted as he got up, pick up the borken TV, then toss it out the window that lead to the outside where it landed in a pile of broken televsion sets.

**"And that was HD too! What a waste!"**

**"Well it was good while it lasted, only we'll probally never see the ending though"**

**"Ah the whole thing wasn't that good, the only way it would if it had us in it"**

**"Maybe something the Author should think about for a new story, and speaking of which we best get started with this one"**

**"Ooohhh Hell Yeah! Our brand new kick-ass story!"**

"And the best part is we get to curse all we want and no beeping noises anymore, not like that last mini-story we did some time ago" Wade said as he would turn his attention to the readers," Hiya folks! It's your favorite character Merc with the Mouth here in the third part of the Deadpool Arkham series!" Deadpool had said this before there was a knock by the door that would open up as Harley came inside.

"Hey sweetie you missing the party downstairs, you comming or what?" she asked while Wade took a quick examination of her outfit, Harley was wearing the same biker chick look however she added a gothic make up on her face and had her twin pigtail hair dyed up to being black while having red dye on the tips at the ends of her hair, after Wade gets a quick look he turn back to the readers.

"For those of you who haven't guess or the Author sucks at description details, Harley here is going for her new look she had from that DLC add on from Arkham City where she plans her *revenge* for the death of a certain clown asshole, which is not the case now since she's with me!" he told the readers as this caused Harley to giggle in joy.

**"And she's still sexy even if she's not a blonde!"**

**"I don't think it would matter anyways, she can change her appearance to whatever she wants and still look hot!"**

"Aww thanks boys, anyways don't stay up here for too long or you'll miss the party games. The girls and myself are about to have a bobbing for apples contest in less than fifthteen minutes so don't be late because I know you'll enjoy it as much as I will, TTFN Puddin!" Harley said before she blew a kiss to Wade then closed the door behind her to leave Deadpool alone while the party continues downstairs.

**"Wait isn't that like a Halloween thing?"**

**"Would you complain if the contestants are hot attractive woman that are about to get wet?"**

**"...Good point, lets finished this quick so we can go see!"**

**"The sooner the better would be best!"**

"You schmucks got that right!" Wade said as he went back to the readers, "As you all can see I've made quite the settlement here in Arkham City since becomming its newly Mayor, I've got a new place, my own arm forces of former Joker gangmembers turn to my own, a hot ass girlfriend that is not has a healing factor and hears my inner voices like I have but she's also bisexual! Isn't that grand?!" Wade said in a big happy tone.

**"Wasn't that in our dream once about a week ago?"**

**"Nah I'm pretty sure that three-way with Harley and Ivy was real"**

**"Hmm you might be right it is our story so anything is possible,although it's a shame that Poison Ivy had to leave the city to be somewhere much warmer"**

"Ah no sweat it, we can always give her a be-lated Christmas present when Spring comes around, but lets get back on topic before..." before Wade could finished his sentence a loud explosion sound was made then followed by screams and gunfire could be made from down stairs, "Oh what the fuck now?!"

as Wade said this the door busted open as one of Deadpool's own thugs came in.

"Boss! We've got uninvited guests crashing the party, looks like Bane's gang comming in and shooting up the place" the thug said to the masked merc that he works for.

"So the mexican hot headed wrestler think he can come in and ruin my party eh? The guy must still be pissed about me getting the last chimichanga again, alright my look-alike thug that dress poorly than me rally up the troops, arm up, and lets kill their taco bell dogs!" Deadpool yelled out as he took a pose of standing on top of his chair with his arm sticking out along with his finger pointing out, the thug was quite for a moment while the gunfight was still happening down stairs before he spoke.

"I'll uh...go tell the boys what you just say Boss" the thug said before he closed the door shut.

**"That's the way to tell them, like a boss!"**

**"I'm pretty sure he's just going to tell them to shoot the uninvited guest, which we should get down there right now"**

"Couldn't have said it better myself!' Wade said as he hop off the chair and spun himself around in a red blur till he stopped now armed himself with both his katanas and pistols while facing the readers, "Folks get ready for a brand new awesome story, Deadpool style!" Wade said in excitement as he drew both of his pistol and starts shooting the glass window that he was running to in a attempt to make a entrance towards the battle that was happening downstairs.

However when he jump and broke through the glass window Wade found himself going through the wrong one, instead he was outside the Steel Mill about two storys high during a cold snow stroming night as he was hovering in mid air for a brief second, long enough for him to turn and glare towards the Author, "Oh you fucking peice of SSHHHIIIITTTTT!" Deadpool screamed when he started falling and crashed landed into the piles of broken television sets.

Chapter End

**Authors Note**

**And there you have it folks, a brand new Deadpool Arkham story. What surprises await for our favorite Merc with the mouth? You'll all have to wait and see on the next chapter to find out.**

**Hope you enjoy, DDK out.**


	2. Chapter 2

**DDK does not own Deadpool or Batman**

"speaking"

_"thoughts"_

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the idiot side**

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the smark side**

Chapter 2: Here comes Deadpool!

The front door leading inside the Steel Mill bursted wide open with the cold wind blowing inside, a make shift snowman quickly slides through the open door then would start violently shaking sideways sending snow everywhere until the snowman turn out to be Deadpool as he shut the door hard and lock it," BBUURRRR! Man its fucking cold outside, who the hell left the door unlock anyways?" Wade asked outloud to no one as he was all alone in the loading bay now with the power out and only light comming from moonlight from the glass windows.

**"Hey where everybody go?"**

**"Well it did took us a half hour to get out of that pile of borken television during a blizzard storm, alot of things could happen while we're gone"**

"We wouldn't have been in that mess if the Author hadn't messed up in the first chapter" Wade said as he started walking farther inside the room he was in,_ "This is really strange, where are my troops? And the strippers? and Harley?! Not to mention Bane and his dumb mexican goons"_ the mask merc thought as he stood in the center of the room.

**"Pretty confusing indeed, we didn't even have time for any entertainment"**

**"Shit and I was looking forward to that bobbing for apples that Harley mentioned!"**

**"As much as I want to get in on the topic we need to stay focus, this could be a trap"**

_"Oh come on, just because its a dark quite empty large room doesn't mean its always a trap" _Wade thought to his inner voices, however before he knew it the lights came on that caused Wade to be blinded for a moment till his eyes adjusted and then he saw Bane's mercenaries surrounding him, all were armed with advance military type firearms of shotguns and assualt rifles pointing at Deadpool, "...Ok I take it back of what I just thought" Wade said as the speakers within the Steel Mill made a noise that meant someone was using it.

"Welcome Deadpool, I hope you are enjoying this fine night of Christmas Eve" Bane's voice could be heard from the loud speaker, there was also some noises in the background that Deadpool couldn't pick up of what it was but decided to focus on the man that was talking.

"What's wrong Baney boy? Too afraid to show your face and let the taco squad to do your dirty work?" Wade asked out before hearing Bane small laughter over the speakers.

"Don't worry I intend to break you myself, just as I did for the Bat" Bane spoke out and before he could speak once more Deadpool would interrupt him.

"Yeah yeah we heard this part already like a million times and you still got your ass kicked, and that one time that you DID broke Bat's spine yet he still kicked your ass! From the way I see it your like a broken mexican record player" Wade said out loud.

**"Yeah and people are starting to get really tired of hearing that, how about something like *makes mocking Bane's voice* I shall crush you like a egg!"**

**"Too simple and easy, maybe a *also mocking Bane's voice* I will bury you alive!"**

_"Yeah and maybe give him some Russian attitude as well, the Spanish kind was so last year" _Wade thought till he heard the sounds of guns clicking as he saw the mercs were not too please with his choice of words to their boss.

"You dare speak of such disrespect to Bane you tonto idiota!? You-" the merc that was speaking was cut off when Wade disappeared from the use of his teleportation then the blade of a katana went through the mercs throat by Deadpool that was behind him.

"Now I may not know spanish well, but I'm pretty sure I felt insulted by th-oh bloody fuck!" Wade quickly said when he saw the other mercs were about to fire and brought the merc he just stabbed infront of him as a human sheild. Gunfire was made from mix of shotguns, assualt rifles, and dual pistols as the merc with the katana stuck in his thoart was shaking violently from the impacting bullets hitting his body till he was covered in bloody holes till a cease fire was made an the now dead merc drop down onto the floor, however Deadpool was was no longer there.

It was then that Bane's mercs had notice another party member of their group, Deadpool was standing in the middle of the group with both of his pistols out as he had joined in the gunfire with the others as soon as it started, "Man that was awesome, best shooting-your-own-teammate-of all time! Am I right fellows?" Wade asked only to get his answer when the mercs quickly pointed their weapons at him and open fired once again, only that it turn out worst for them when Deadpool teleported away and ended up shooting each an ended up dead from bullet wounds as the Merc with the Mouth re-appeared later with a half eaten taco in his hand, "Well your all a bunch of dumbass, should of known that I can just teleported away before you start opening fire at each other" he spoke up till he heard a painful groan comming from one of the mercs on the floor so Wade just drew his pistol and shot him in the head then would finished off his half eaten taco.

**"Hey where did you get that taco from?"**

**"Yes, I thought all of mexican resturants were closed at this hour?"**

_"Well actually I found it, someone had thrown it away and let it go to waste" _Wade thought answered his Inner voices.

**"Wait a minute, you found it...in a dumpster?!"**

_"...FUCK! What the hell were you thinking Author!" _Wade screamed in his head as he started gah harshly to get the bad taste in his mouth.

**"Ugh dude! That is so gross!"**

"What is going on down there?!" the sound of Bane's voice brought back Deadpools attention as he had almost forgotten about him since the shooting had started.

"Oh your still on the mic? Good because I want to know where my entire gang, my stripper guest, and most importantly my Harely are at right now!" Wade yelled out at the intercom speaker only to hear Bane laughing.

"Come find me payaso" was all Bane said before he cut the intercom as silence went by again.

"Again with the spanish words, come somebody give me a fucking translator of what he just said?" Wade asked no one in particular.

**"Well I can look it up"**

**"What? Then why didn't you do so?"**

**"No one had asked, now let see...it means clown"**

**"Huh?"**

**"That word that Bane used, it translate to "clown" "**

**"He called us WHAT?!"**

"Oh ho Bane is so gonna get his ass kicked ten times over, but first things first gotta find Harley to make sure she's alright" as Wade said this he heard a noise comming from the air vents until the vent on the wall pop open and Mr. Shuggums poke his head out while making barking sounds,_ "Wait how in the hell did that flea carrying mutt get inside?"_ Wade thought.

**"And why do all air vants have to be man size? Do people like sneaking around in them?"**

**"I doubt we'll ever find out those answers, anyways I think the mutt is trying to help us out"**

**"What like finding Harley just like he help us find Rogue?"**

**"Yes, seems he has a talent of finding hot women"**

_"Remind me to test out that theory later" _Wade thought before turning his attention back to the dog, "Hey little buddy, your here to help me try to find Harley?" he asked which the canine would make more barking noise before going back inside the vent, following the dogs trail Deadpool teleported himself inside and starts going through the vent, "Welp got myself inside now, might as well go for it" the mask merc said while traveling through the vents till he found himself in a unkown area.

**"Uh where are we now? I don't remembering visiting this part of the Steel Mill"**

"**We're probally in closed off area's or something, parts that no one ever visits no longer"**

Deadpool continues his travel in the maze like air vent for who knows how long until he started to see the end, when he reached it Wade saw another large room that he didn't reconised. It was the same room size as the loading bay where his Christmas party was held only having more crates around and three large tanks surrounded by a walk way with a painting of a black skull on the front side, and there tied up to one of the large tanks was Deadpools prize of his search Harley Quinn.

"Well what do ya know, the mutt has done it once again. I owe him a treat, now to save a hot ass babe!" Wade said as he press a button on his belt and teleported himself out of the air vent and appeared right infront of Harley which he now saw that a duck tape was over her mouth, when she saw who it was Harley start making loud muffling noise through the tape while shaking her head, "Whoa Harley baby calm down, it's just me your handsome-good looking-awesome boyfriend thats come to rescue you! Now babe I know that we talk about trying some new things that involve sex, like you being the hot hostage while me as your handsome captive that has his way with you , but I'm getting the feeling that this is not what it is right now. Oh come on babe no need to act all worried and fearful right now, what's gotten you scared all of a sudden? And why are you not paying attention and looking right behind me with those beautiful wide blue eyes of your's?" Wade asked when he turned around only for a gloved hand to grabbed his face, then being picked up and slammed against the metal tank that was next to Harley before Deadpool was toss over the railings of the walk way and onto the floor filled with crates. When Deadpool got up he wobbled around on his feet from feeling dizzy abit, "Ah shit that stung, is this what people feel when they get a hangover from drinking?" Wade asked outloud.

**"I don't think that's even close to it nor we would ever find out"**

**"Yeah we could never get drunk anyways"**

Deadpool was brought out of his conversation with his Inner voices when he heard a loud thud being made as he turn to see someone had landed on the floor with him, standing there was Bane himself wearing the prime costume version from _Injustice Gods Among Us_, Bane would then start cracking his knuckles as well as rolling his neck that make bone popping noises.

"Saludos to you Deadpool, I am so pleased that you can re-join the fiesta. It will be one that you will never forget payaso" Bane said to Wade, which the mask merc remember what that meant earlier and got pissed off.

"I am NOT A FUCKING CLOWN!" Wade had screamed out loud.

Chapter End


	3. Chapter 3

**DDK does not own Deadpool or Batman**

"speaking"

_"thoughts"_

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the idiot side**

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the smart side**

Chapter 3: Deadpool's Christmas Roundhouse!

Before anything happens Deadpool would turn away from Bane and face towards the readers," Now before I take care of Macho Man here, I just want to say that I still should of been part of that Injustice fighting game. And I mean an actual playable character an not some alternate costume for Deathstroke, I mean come on they allowed Scorpion from Mortal Kombat to be part of the game and he's not even a DC comic character...atleast I don't think so do you? Anyways getting off track now, gotta kick this guys ass and rescue my girl!" Deadpool said before facing Bane again.

**"Yeah! And maybe Harley can reward us with hot steamy sex too!"**

**"Damn fucking right she will!"**

Bane would slam his fist against his chest, right where a button was at the center, then suddenly the mask muscular man would start shaking with blood veins appearing on his skin showing signs of him using Venom, finally with a battle cry like roar Bane now stood ready to fight.

**"That toxic steriod doesn't seem too healthly for him"**

**"Yeah, you'd think he learn that by now but still does it. Hey you think he could hear voices from that stuff?"**

**"Wait your thinking of Venom from our universe aren't you?"**

**"Well that alien stuff can do some crazy shit to people, like it happen to Eddie Brock"**

**"You forgot that Spider-man was the first"**

**"Ah who cares about that geek, stop changing the topic and get back on it. Who was next?"**

**"Well then there was Mac Gargan"**

**"Oh remember the time "WE" had the alien goo?"**

**"That didn't really happen, it was all in our dream"**

_"Yeah and that shit was crazy there, I wonder if thats what-wait the fucking minute! Stop getting off topic here Author!"_ Wade yelled in his thought.

**"Yeah! Let's get back to kicking a super powered mexican ass!"**

**"Atleast he's off from that Titan Venom he had a while back, must of been hard for him to fit through a door without breaking it"**

Deadpool did a quick check of his equipment while standing ten feet away from Bane, he made sure that his guns were fully loaded with real bullets, both his katanas sheathed to his back ready to be used, grenades live and explosive, and a chimichaga in his hand that Wade would a quick snack before a battle.

"Check me out, I'm the ghost of Christmas Kick-Your-Ass!..." as Deadpool said this there was silence in the room with Bane staring at him, his mask making it hard to tell what his expression was, then Wade would turn and glare at the Author, "Really? You had to use that line from MvC3, which is knwon as MarvelvsCapcom 3, just because it's Christmas didn't you Author...fucking dick" Wade mumbled the last part loudly before grabbing the hilt of one of his katanas.

_**"BEGIN!"**_

_"Where the fuck did that computer voice came-OH SHIT!" _ Deadpool didn't had time to react as Bane would quickly dash forward and slam his fist down on top of Wade's head, causing the mask merc to bounce up in mid air after impacting face first onto the ground with Bane continue his attacks by throwing left and right punches to him, then a hard uppercut that sent Wade higher up in the air before Bane grabbed his left leg as he turned and slammed Deadpool hard onto the floor enough to make a large crack under him,"...OW!" Wade finally said after long seconds from hitting the floor till he slowly got back up then notice above his head there were two Health Bars with a Timer at the center that had infinate time. One had his name on it with a life bar down to fifty-percent left, while the other had Bane's name and it was still at one-hundred-percent full.

**"WHAT?! Not even two seconds and we already los-that's bullshit dude!"**

**"Worse. Start up. Fight. Ever. Of all time."**

_"I'll show them Start Up Fight!"_ Wade thought as he jumped up and grabbed hold of his Health Bar, gave it a few hard tugs, then finally yanked it out an held it up like a baseball bat just as Bane was comming in for another attack," Hey Baney boy, batter fucking up!" Deadpool yelled as he starts swinging his make-shift bat at the large mexican. The first strike was to the head as Bane now stumbled backwards, causing him to hold his head with his hand but Deadpool didn't stop there, blow after blow along with a few bone cracking smacks the Merc with the Mouth continues using his blunt-weapon of his own Health Bar to hit Bane whose own health dropping quickly from each hit. By now Bane's health was at a critical level of dropping to zero and the mask mexican brute was still standing but had a dizzy appearance with tiny stars circaling around his head, Deadpool was standing infront of him and was holding his still intact weapon like it was a golf club before pulling it back and shouted "FOUR!" then swung to hit its target that was Bane's groin.

**"I don't think that's how people say it in golf"**

**"Why not? They always shouted the number four for unknwon reason"**

**"I meant that's not how it's spelled!"**

Upon the impact from Deadpools swung, Bane's eye lids of his mask went wide along with alarming sounds being made as he felt extreme pain before he was sent flying backwards from the blow, with his hands covering over his crotch, and screamed all the way till he exited out by crashign through the ceiling that made a hole of his shaped figure.

_**"K.O!"**_

"Aha, now that is what I like to hear! Still Baney boy better have some sort of payment to fix the hole he just created. This place is already comming apart as it it." Wade said as he toss away his now used up weapon, right before going off to untie his sexy girlfriend Wade notice something on the ground from where Bane stood a second ago, "Hey what's that?" he said as he knelt down and pick the small object up and examine it.

**"It looks appeared to be a hard-drive. Used for storing information and downloads for a computer."**

**"Yeah nerd stuff great, but can we go save Harley first?"**

Agreeing with his inner voice, Deadpool would teleport to where he last saw Harley and she was still tied up an gagged but she had a happy look on her face upon seeing him,"Have no fear my sexy babe, your awesome boyfriend is here! Now let me just untie this rope right here and..." while Wade said this he loosen the tied knot that held the rope in place to keep the mix haired womaned bound up and when it was off Harley immediately leap onto the mask merc with her arms wrapped around his head an face buried into her busty chest.

"Puddin! I knew you would come save me! My asshole-of-a-now-dead ex would of just abandoned me when ever I get caught but I know that you wouldn't, My Hero." Harley said in a dreamy tone along with letting out a swooning sigh, Deadpool however was having the best time of his life with his face pressed up against his girlfriends bossom.

_"Hehe despit of lacking oxygen,I feel like the luckiest bastard in the world!"_ Wade thought.

**"Indeed, we have lived the dream where you-know-who has failed!"**

**"So...soft...like...marshmallows!"**

As much as he would like to stay in the position Wade had to, and he really tried hard to resist the urge to go back in, pull his face away from Harley's breasts an got serious, "Harley babe, as much as I really really REALLY want to go back and snuggle my face into your busty breasts the Author is being a dick by wanting me to get back to bussiness. So what happened here? I was gone for like a hour-something and Bane took over without leaving any trace of where my troops and the strippers no where in sight." Wade told her, which Harley had a pout on her lips when he pulled away but had a thoughtful look when she tried to remember before answering.

"Hmm...well right as soon as Bane and his men attacked...oh! Some of our boys turn out to be traitors by shooting our 'loyals' in the back, one of those damn bastards must of struck me in the back of the head an knock me out!" Harely explained as she had a pissed off look that soon turn to worried on her pretty face, " But the girls, they must've taken them while I was out! And I was looking forward to that bobbing apples game too!" she whined.

**"Us too! I hope those assholes didn't kill them!"**

**"Well theres a chance they might still be alive. No way they would let all those hot women go to waste"**

"Yeah, an I'm betting money that this might be the key to it" Wade said as he held out the hard-drive he found on the floor, "Baney boy got to have something worth while on this thing to keep it on him, now I just need to find a fancy computer to download it. Only trouble thing is that its probally lock and needs some hacking or some shit" Deadpool explained till Harley perked up.

"Oh I got it! I was hoping to give it to you by Christmas morning, but maybe nows a good time to give it" she explained before reahcing her hand into her cleavage and pulled out a Deadpools present that was covered in red and black stripes wrapping.

**"A very good place to hide things too!"**

**"Indeed!"**

Taking the present from his girlfriends hand Wade would rip the wrapping off and open the box, reaching in he pulled out a device that looks exactly like, "wait a minute, isn't this the device that Bat's used to hack things and shit?" he asked as Harley played with her hair by twirling her finger around it.

"Well...no, just a cop look-alike with a new hacking system.I had a friend I know who knows another friend and so on, anyways what's different from B-mans device is this" Harley explained as she showed Wade, who held the device up and watch the loading screen. When it was done loading it revealed a picture of a maze like area that looked familier.

**"Wait...Pacman?"**

**"The new hacking system is base off from a Pacman game?"**

"Well don't look at me, the Author thought of it." Harley told them while shrugging her shoulders before she continue, "Anyways instead of cracking numbers and stuff the little dots you eat is sort of a shortcut to breaking in the system, the little ghost things are the firewalls or anti-virus protection, the big dots would let you cancel the ghost things for a short and limited time, and once you complete the level you are in!" Harley explained to her boyfriend while Deadpool was busy using the Pacman Hacking process after inserting the hard drive in.

"Well atleast the Author got the character to look like me by being red instead of yellow, but wait what's with the fruit in the maze for?" Wade asked her.

"Oh that's just for show." Harley answered him.

**"Should of saw that one comming."**

**"Maybe all Hacking should be base off from video games."**

**"Like that will ever happen."**

**"Yes it can!"**

"Hey can you two schmucks keep it down? I'm trying to-got it!" Wade shouted as he completed the level and was inside the system and all the information being uploaded, "Wow there is alot of shit on here. And Bane kept this on him all the time? Man that guy is so...hey what's this?" Deadpool wondered as he found one updated file that had the topic about Black Mask.

**"Uh...what's a Black Mask?"**

**"A mask of some sort?"**

"Roman Sionis is a crimal crime lord that goes by the name of Black Mask, something bout his parents dying and there was a freak accident that brunts a black shape mask skull on his head. Anyways he's been top on the market of criminal organization, buying and selling advance weapons on the Black Market that rival's Penguin's contacts, the usual stuff of every Kingpin of Crime needs. Had a run in with some of his goons a few years back before metting you Puddin" Harley explained to Deadpool as he looked up at the file.

**"So he is like a mix combo of Red Skull and Kingpin from our world."**

**"Wait isn't this Steel Mill belong to him?**

**"Looks that way, must of shut it down when he no longer needs it"**

**"Ah well if he did want it back too bad, we call dibs on this place!"**

"Yeah and from the looks of it here Bane must of trying to keep an eye on him, and here is why! According to what this file says Black Mask has been very secretive by working with an mysterious partner that no one knows about and had kept it quite for who knows how long" Wade explained while looking up the uploaded info, "...shall we see more?" he asked, to which Harley would nod to an agreement along with his inner voices before they would continue.

Chapter end

**"Aw come on Author, are you serious?!"**

**"It's official, the Author loves pissing us off."**

"No shit Sherlock!" Wade shouted.

**See ya folks, DDK out.**

"Fucking prick!" Wade yelled.


	4. Chapter 4

**DDK does not own Deadpool or Batman**

"speaking"

_"thoughts"_

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the idiot side**

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the smart side**

Chapter 4: Guess whose comming for Christmas Dinner!

Within the closed off area of the Steel Mill, we find our hero Deadpool sending a hard glare to the Author, giving the hint that the Merc with the Mouth was pissed off.

"Ya damn fucking right I'm pissed off ASSHOLE!" Wade yelled out.

**"Yeah that was a dick move right there!"**

**"As I said before, the Author seems to love to piss us off."**

"Now he better not do that again, or else I'll do exactly what that Follower said in the Review" Wade told the Author.

**"It's so nice to see that people LOVE US! Speaking of review's what was that last one trying to do?"**

**"Which one?"**

**"The one that put up about two hot chicks"**

**"Ah yes, it is uncertain really. It seems that one is either trying to give us a hint of what the Author should put in...or telling us there's a story we should check out"**

"I wouldn't mind to check it out if it is a Story. There nothing more hotter than watching two hot ass babes getting it on in bed, only thing that would top that off would have me involved" as Wade said this he heard a small cough behind him, turning around he saw that Harley was standing there with her hands on her hips and a pouty lips.

" So would one of those girls involved me in it or none at all Puddin?" she asked before Deadpool would stretch out his arm to wrap around Harley's waist and pulled her close to him.

"Nah of course not babe! Cause it would be a crime to not involve you in it." Wade told his hot girlfriend, Harley would give him a long stare with a blank look expression on her face till she spoke after a minute or two.

"I want recorded footages incase I do miss out, and you taking me out to an exotic mexican resturant in Paris." she said to him before giving a kiss to his mask covered lips.

"DEAL! Not certain if there are some in France, but I'll find it none the less for you my hot muffin!" Deadpool declared which made Harley giggled in joy.

**"In the name of all hot booty, we shall not fail!"**

**"Was there any doubt that we have? Then the answer is no."**

"Alright, now that we got that out of the way let's continue looking up...oh right! Black Mask an info shit that we were about to look up, let's see what we got" Deadpool said as he pulled out the device that Harley given him for Christmas and downloaded the hard-drive Bane had dropped, then the loading sceen pop up with detailed information," Now then occording to the intel that Bane had gathered from his mercenaries that gathered info, our very own crime lord has been using his underworld resources to fund some money to a mysterious partner that he been working with. Seems that it's been used for one part of secrete underground experiments and other science junk, while the other part of gathering weapons and technology for said experimental stuff." Wade explained while readign through the intel then looking over holo-graphic blue prints of weapon designs.

**"Uh so...can you repeat that, but in American?"**

**"*fustrated sigh* It means who ever Black Mask is working with is into alot of science shit."**

"Huh, I knew that BM would do anything to give him an edge to mantain his criminal empire, but this seems WAY beyond crazy. Even for him, all he ever does is threaten and kill people." Harley said as Deadpool would look at her for a moment.

"Uh...BM?" he asked her.

"It's short for Black Mask, don't look at me Puddin. It was the Authors idea." Harley added which Wade could nod his head.

"Good point, now what else this thing got?...Hey here's one, it said something that involves with...ah shit the Titan Venom?!" Wade asked outloud as he saw images of Bane in his Titan transformation, along with one with other thugs that used it.

**"Aren't we suppose to be DONE with that stuff?"**

**"Ugh dude that shit is bad headache there."**

"Yeah and that's not all, it look like there are some things that involve other stuff. Like...holy shit..." Deadpool said as he looked up the next intel that was recently updated about a day or two ago.

"What? What is it Puddin?" Harley asked her boyfriend as she looked over the mask merc's shoulders, what she saw was another image but this time it was our favorite Merc with the Mouth himself and a detailed info that said.

_Suject: Wade Wilson, a.k.a Deadpool._

_Career: Mercenary/ Mayor of Arkham Ciry._

_Known Assosiate: Harleen Frances Quinzel, a.k.a Harley Quinn._

_Breifing: Subject is to be brought in alive for experimental testing. Use highly extreme caition when engage with target._

_Reward: $100,000,000._

"...Fucking Awesome! I can turn myself in and get the money, we'll be fucking rich Harley baby!" Wade said in exciment that he had big dollar signs over his eyes.

**"We can buy all the chimichanga's when ever we want!"**

**"I'm not exactly buying into what that detailed said."**

While Deadpool was in his own daydreaming of swimming in money Harley would take the device from his hand and looked it over herself," I have to agree with the smart voice there, this look like the same gig about the Christmas Bounty that Joker put on B-man years ago. The only difference is the money has been doubled, new faces of the people comming for the bounty, and the Author's misspelling error." Harley explained as the dollar signs disappeared from Deadpools eyes and returned to his normal eye lids.

"Huh? What you talkin bout babe? What people?" Wade asked as he pop right infront of Harley with his head right between her breasts, and resting confortly there, and looked to the display of people that were taken interest in the bounty, first one on the list showed Bane.

**"No surprise there, possibly one of the reasons why he came crashing our party."**

**"Yeah, and we just kicked his ass just now!"**

Next on the list reveals a picture of Killer Croc, "Croc-y? Why the hell would he take up the bou-oh wait a minute! I think I know why now" as Wade said this he began to have a little flashback of the last time he saw the large reptile man.

_**Five days after the events of Arkham City**_

Deep beneath the sewers of Arkham City, Killer Croc was yelling and running down the tunnel with a few flaming bear-traps latch onto his ass. Following right behind him was Deadpool dressed in Austrailian clothing over his costume, a kind that was ment for hunting, while holding a sniper rifle in his hands.

"Freeze mate! Deadpool's Pest Control service, keeping our fair city clean from varmen's like you!" Wade spoken with a Austrailian accent before firing a few rounds at the running crocodile looking man.

_**End flashback**_

"Yep, that would possibly why he would want to take a shot for the money. Alright whose next?" Wade asked as the next person came up, when it revealed to be Deadshot he heard Harley made a noise in disgust.

"Ugh him? I still can't believe that I was paired up in a relation with that dumbass. I already gots me a real man here." as Harley said this she hugged Wade from behind, while said man was enjoying how her busty pillow like chest was squeezing around his head.

**"Yeah, we're a much better picking to go out with Harley!"**

**"And not someone that's a Bullseye wanna be with a rip off name from us."**

Moving on to the list Deadpool came up with the next person as the image poped up, "Firefly? Meh piece of cake, all we need is a giant fireproof fly-swatter and we can squash that bug. Now who esle...HELLO!" Wade shouted as the image of Copperhead came up as Harely's eyes went wide.

"Oh cool! The Author is gonna put that same female Copperhead from Arkham Origins in this story, I always did like that accent of hers" Harley said as Deadpool would still stare at the image before him.

"And after reading that Review about her and that other chick gotten me very interested in those two...God I hope the Author will add that other chick in this story. So anyways babe you said there were some new people yet all I'm seeing are some from the Origins." Wade told his girlfriend before Harley tap on the device with her finger to slide up the next image.

"Of course Puddin, take a look at this one." she said as a picutre of Killer Frost came up, and in this one like Bane she was wearing her _Injustice_ costume as well.

"Oh sweet, now I got three elemental hot chicks that I like. I'll admit Author, I'm starting to like how this story is going so far...what's the catch?" Deadpool asked with a suspicous look on his mask face.

**"Yes, when ever something good happens there has to be a catch for all of this."**

**"There's always a catch, ALWAYS!"**

Not wanting to jinx himself incase the Author has any idea's, Deadpool moved on with the last two on the list, the first one was another character wearing an _Injustice_ costume, " Lobo? That space bounty hunter guy that Superman fought?...Know what fuck it I'll kick his ass anyways, then we'll see who's the real Main Man is." Deadpool said and then the last image would cause his eye lids to go wide to the size of dinner plates, "What The Fuck?!" he yelled out loud.

**"Oh you got to be fucking kidding me!"**

**"Way to put the bullshit of bullshits in there Author, ya rip off jackass!"**

The last image of the list was a person calling himself Black Spider, now Wade had known there were a few or something Black Spiders in the past that are possibly dead however this was not like the others. This one is not only new but the costume design was very simular to a certain annoying wall crawler from Deadpool's universe, "This is Bullshit! The Author decides to put in an Black Spider that looks like that web-headed copy-cat geek Spider-man in this story, the only difference is that the red color part of the costume is black, along with those black web lines being white with that spider symble thats the same as the black suit from that lame Spider-man 3 movie, and the eye lins being all red with the shape to look like Carnage eyes!" Wade yelled out.

**"Yeah this is fucking bullshit there!"**

**"There it is, the catch! I KNEW there was a catch there!"**

Seeing that her boyfriend was pissed off, Harley would place her hands onto Deadpool's shoulders and start rubbing there while speaking, "Sweety, no need to get all upset about this. You know why? Because your gonna do what you do best, and that is kicking ass and being awesome" she said to him softly while giving a kiss to his mask cheek, and that seem to work as Deadpool was now calm and relaxed.

"Ah babe you always do know what you say best" Wade said as this caused Harley to smile brightly.

**"Next time lets do a little ropleplaying of her playing Doctor."**

**"Paging Dr. Quinzel, we need some sexual medical treatment!"**

"As tempting as that sounds it'll have to wait...fucking damn Author" Wade mumbled rather loudly before looking back at the device, "You know we should start calling this thing something instead of 'device', but back to the matter at hand. So someone wants me brought in alive eh? Welp looks like the only way I'll get any answers is from one person connected...Boys and Girlfriend, we got to pay Black Mask a visit" Wade said as he put away the 'device' for safe keepign, but before he would set out Deadpool was suddenly spun around and grabbed by his suit from an annoyed looking Harley Quinn.

"Aren't you forgetting something mister?" she asked in a sweet yet irritated tone, which Deadpool was confused at first wondering what he did wrong till his girlfriend gave him the answer, "I've given you my Christmas present early than I was suppose too, the least you can do is give me some sugar and hot steaming sex. And I mean right fucking now Puddin!" was all that Harley said before she pulled Deadpools mask up and attack his lips with her own which caused Wade to lose his balence an fallen backwards with Harley on top of him.

**"Holy shit!"**

**"She's like a raging beast in heat!"**

_"Yeah, and I love it! What's his name can wait abit longer, right now I'm just gonna have hot wild sex with my girl!"_ Wade thought as he proceed to pleasure his hot horny girlfriend.

_**Meanwhile in another area within Gotham**_

Deep within the alleyway on a snowy night, a stray cat was digging around the garbage to salvage some food when a sudden glowing light appeared out of no where that caused to cat to get spooked and ran away just as something crash into the garbage cans. The figure turned out to be a man that slowly picked himself up, placing his hand onto the brick wall to help support himself, then the man walked into a light within the alleyway allowing himself to be expose for everyone to see what he wore. He was wearing a yellow and navy blue costume with a mask over his head which only had an opening enough to expose his lower jaw and mouth, he would find his way out of the alley and into the empty snowing streets of Gotham, taking a moment to get to know his surroundings the man would tilt his head back and made a sniffing sound meaning he was smelling the air tll he would let out a confused groan.

"What is this? Where the hell am I?" Wolverine asked outloud with no one in sight to answer him.

Chapter end


	5. Chapter 5

**Authros Notes.**

**DDK: "Hey folks, DDK here bringing you *a few bullets pass over head* Ah son of a bitch!"**

Deadpool: *holds a pistol to the Authors head* "Hey! What's the big idea of holding off my story for so LONG?!"

**DKK: *Think's quickly* "Uh, because I been brainstorming on what to write next, as well as giving you plenty of time to having long sex with Harley!"**

Deadpool: *pauses a long period of time before pulling the pistol away* "Alright I think I can accept that, but better not take so long again!"

**DDK: *quickly changes Deadpool's weapons to only appear in begining Cahpter and vanishes by the End* "OK, on to the next story!"**

Deadpool: "Yeah yeah, get on with...Hey! Where the fuck are my weapons?!"

**DDK: DDK does not own Deadpool or Batman**

Deadpool: "Fucking prick!"

"speaking"

_"thoughts"_

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the idiot side**

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the smart side**

Chapter 5: A birdie just for Deadpool!

Back at the Steel Mill, both Wade and Harley were getting redressed after their LONG who knows what time of hot steamy sex, " And the fact that the Author couldn't make a Lemon still sucks, cause that was hot" Wade said as he finally fixed up his mask that he was putting on.

**"It's possible that he wouldn't know what he was writing."**

**"Yeah better that he didn't try, otherwise he would make our time with Harley horrible!"**

"And we wouldn't want that to happen, do we boys?" Harley said as she finished the final touch of putting on her make up, which was ruined during the make out session with her boyfriend, then she would pulll out a small hand mirror to check her reflection to see that everything was just right as Harley kissed herself in the mirror before tossing it away that make a shatter sound.

**"Doesn't breaking a mirror cause bad luck?"**

**"Ah who needs that shit, we're alreay bad luck as it is with this Author's writing."**

"Ok enough with the Author, it is time too...Uh what we were doing again?" Wade asked, after having sex with his girlfirend the Merc with the Mouth had forgotten the task that he was about to do. Suddenly there was a brick that was thrown through the glass window and hit Deadpool right into the face that caused him to fallen down to the floor flat on his back with the brick stuffed into his face, Harley looked down at her boyfriend and was about to ask if he was alright until she notice the brick had a note attach to it so she lean down and pick up the peice of paper as she read.

_To Deadpool:_

_Looking for Black Mask, you fucking idiot._

_Sign: DDK_

"Looks like he left you a note Puddin." Harely said as she held the note out, which Deadpool was still laying down on his back as he grabbed the note and read it through, it took him a minute before the red masked merc jumped up to his feet and crushed the note in his hand in anger.

"Hey! Quit stealing that other Author's idea from another story, ya fucking jackass!" Wade yelled at the Author.

**"Isn't that the one with-"**

**"Now is not the time of talking about other stories!"**

"Alright, we'll let it slide...for now atleast. So we're looking for Black-Whats-His-Face, so who would we know that has some intel on the target?" Wade asked as he thought over, it was then that an idea pop into Harley's head that she got over excited by raising her hand up and wave it like a student knew the answer to a teacher's question, "Yes my little angel muffin?" the way that Deadpool say that caused his girlfriend to giggle a little before answering.

"What about our little fat birdie? Since he did give us all that Tyger equipment for our boys to use, he might possibly know what B-Mask has been up too." she suggested to her mask boyfriend.

**"Uh, who is she talking about?"**

**"She means Penguin. Ever sicne he got out of that glass box, and took back the old Museum, he's been trying to re-stock his black market bussiness."**

**"Oh yeah! I remember him giving us that Tyger advance-shit as a peace offering after last time!"**

**"Only because we were pressing a shotgun barrel to his forhead."**

"Yea, and he been giving us some space from our territory unlike that Bane fellow." Wade said, though the only territory that Cobblepot owned was the Museum itself, everything else in Arkham City belong to Deadpool. A day after the 'Protocol ten' incident in Arkham, Wade had his boys paint some area's with his symble around using spray paint that way everyone would know that they were on HIS ground and no one elses.

"Oh! Can I spend some girl-time with Candy and Tracey puddin? It feels like forever since I last seen them, please?!" she asked with pleading blue eyes and pouty lips towards the mask merc.

"Why of course babe! After all, both those hot chicks do work for me anyways." Wade said as he remember tracking down and recruiting Penguin's former assitents, mostly their jobs were the same with Tracey keeping order of Deadpools men when ever he or Harley weren't around along with recruitment and Candy herself for Wade's income, secretary for mercenary contracts, and rehabilitation.

**"Reha-what?"**

**"Rehabilitation, it comes with plenty of terms of what it could mean."**

**"Did we ever need one?"**

**"With a gorgerous girl like that, I doubt we would even care."**

"Damn right on that, but at the moment I sent those two babes to do undercover work by watching Pengy. Ya know, just to be sure he follows up on his end of the we just need to get in contact to arrange a meeting with the short fat-man himself." Deadpool explained, meanwhile Harley was on a secured cellphone while wade talked before she would hung up.

"It's all set puddin! Just got off the phone with Candy, she said Cobblepot is holding up another Christmas Fight tourney like the last time he did years ago, only instead on a boat it's at the Ice Burge Lounge. I've also told her our little problem of short on man power, she told me that Tracey will get right on it." the mix haired women told her boyfriend with a smile on her lips.

**"Hot damn, that was fast!"**

**"Indeed!"**

"Ah Harley babe, your the best crazy ass girlfriend a guy could dream of having!" Wade said as he wrapped his arm around her waist to pull her in close, while Harley herself would only giggle at the compliment that she received, "Now to the Ice Burge Lounge! Click." Wadie said as he pressed his teleporting button on his belt while holding onto Harley tight as the couple would soon disappear.

Penguin's Office

Both Deadpool and Harley appeared within thin air as the two were now standing in what appeared to be an office like style area, "Huh, I don't remember this part back in the last story. Are we sure we're at the right Museum?" Deadpool asked out loud, to which Harley would only have a slight puzzled look on her pretty face along with a shrug on her shoulders, that is until...

"What the bloody hell is going on here?!" both Wade and Harley turned around when they heard Penguin's yelling voice, said the small midget man was tied up while sitting on a chair as Cobbolepot's face was filled with shock upon seeing the couple before him," Who inivited you two? Candy! You and Tracey had better star-*slap!*mmmpphhh!" Penguin was shut silence when a femmine hand had slap some duck tape over his mouth, walking infront of the tied up midget and towards the couple was Candy herself.

"Sorry about that, but I was getting tired of hearing the sound of his voice. You'd think that after all those years of working with someone like Cobblepot would be getting use too, but turns out it's not." she explained while pushing up her glasses slightly to adjust them.

**"We can imagine."**

**"That's one way to shut him up."**

Deadpool took this moment to turn to the readers, "Now see here folks Candy and Tracey would look the same from their debut in Origin's, like the years having been kind to them for keeping their good looks. Only replace the white color area's of their outfits with red. Don't ask me the Author sucks at discription, just do what I do an play along for now." Wade explained to the readers, then he would turn his attention to the attractive glasses wearing woman until Harley would stand in his way.

"Candy!" she said in a cheerful tone as Harley quickly went and hugged Candy, said woman just smiled and returned the hug back, Wade had to move to the side just to see both of their breasts pressing against each other during the hug before he would make his own presence be known.

"Hey Candy, Merry Christmas to you! Where's Tracey?" he asked as the mask merc took note that the other assisstent was absent at the moment, Candy would break the hug away from Harley and walked towards him while answering.

"Merry Christmas to you too Mr. Deadpool. Trace is out overlooking the fights in the Lounge that was maded into a makeshift arena, as well as looking over for possible recruits to your cause." she explained as she stopped before him, then Candy's lips would turn to a seducive smile as she playfully ran her hand up an over Wade's chest, "We were planningon giving you a special Christmas present together, but I wouldn't mind giving you a sneak peek." she added by thrusting her chest up to give Wade a good view of her cleavage and pull her glasses slght down with her hand to wink at him.

**"Oohhh baby, I like where this is going!"**

**"Lemon! Lemon time lemon time!"**

_"That sounds all hot, but there is this one tiny little problem...THE AUTHOR ISN'T DOING ANY LEMONS!"_ Wade thought angerly towards the Author.

**"AWW!"**/**"AWW!"**

**"That sucks! Totally would of been a good one right there!"**

**"Escpecially if Harley joins in, or maybe with Tracey."**

**"Or maybe all three hot women together!"**

**"*Sighs* Only in our imagination."**

"Candy babe, as hot as that sounds I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pass...for now atleast. BUT! Harley here said she wanted to spend some girl time, think you can keep her company while I chat fat bird over there?" Deadpool asked while pointing his thumb at a tied up Penguin, who was sitting there watching as everything goes by while still unable to talk over the duck tape over his mouth. Candy could only frown a little at first but would soon smile once again at the suggestion he made.

"You got it boss. Harley dear, why don't I show you the luxery funiture that Cobblepot has in his bedroom? It's got a waterbed." Candy baited towards the mix hair woman, Harley had been distracted by thinking dirty sexual things involved between Wade and Candy as well as adding herself and Tracey involved, however upon hearing the word "waterbed" her blue eyes went wide and sparkled.

"A waterbed?! Oh, I love those things! Well not as much as my puddin, but still a waterbed!" Harley exclaimed as Candy was by the door and holding it open for Harley to entered, however just before entering Candy playfully swatted her hand onto Harley's ass which said woman let out a yelp in surprise then Candy herself would follow her in and closed the door shut.

**"Are we sure that we can't just take a small peek inside?"**

**"We could, but the Author wants us to proceed with the story. Altthough, we should also take note of adding a waterbed to Harley's gift."**

**"Oh, maybe we should steal Penguin's bed! Not like he could afford another one."**

**"Speaking of which, we should probally get back to him."**

"Right, now Os..." Wade started to say as he turned around to face where Penguin was, only the spot was empty with flashing air dots in shape of where Cobblepot was suppose to be at, then suddenly Wade would hear a chair scratching the floor surface as he turned around to see that Cobblepot himself was sitting infront fo the door the girls went through leaning his head forward towards the keyhole with the good non-bottled eye to look through.

**"Oh that no good fat short perv!"**

**"No one peeks in our women except us!"**

Feeling rage took over Wade would storm on over to Cobblepot, grabbed the back of the midgets collar, and with great unbound strength lift up and slammed him onto the ground on the backside then Wade would drew out one of his pistols an press the barrel firmly to the now scared shitless little man, "Listen here you fucking peice of turd! Ain't no one is gonna take a small peek at my girlfriend when she has company, especially if its two hot assisstents that are working for me who were currently went undercover to keep an eye on you! Another thing I want to get off my chest while I have your attention, people always say that we sound alike which quite frankly I find that a complete bullshit since I don't have a horse in my throat like you have! I mean sure we're both voice by Nolan North, but there is no way in bloody fucking hell that I sound or talk the way you talk. So what I'm gonna tell you is this, and you better be listening very carefully because I don't want to sound like a broken record saying repeats over and over again. If one single peice of hair is removed from either Candy or Tracey's pretty heads I'll punch that glass eye bottle of yours till ya brains poop out from your ears, then I'll take it back to my place where I can use it to play baseketball with the boys back at the Steel Mill, and then once it's all squished up I'll fry it and give it to my loveable pet dog Mr. Shuggums for him to eat so that he could turn it into dog poo later and THEN I'll give it back to you so that you can have shit for brains! You got that pal?" Wade asked in a deadly serious tone while Penguin would only remain still in fear from the barrel of the gun against his head as he missed most of the concentration, but when he caught the last bit of if he understood Cobblepot would immediately nod his head quickly, "Good! Now let's have a nice friendly chat between us guys!" Deadpool said in a cheerful tone now as he put his gun away then helped Penguin sit back up straight on his chair.

**"Hehe, I think he just shit himself."**

**"Well I don't smell it in here yet, possible ran out of it or something."**

"Now this might tickle a little." Wade said as he would grab onto the duck tape on Oswald's mouth, then with a hard yank the tape got ripped off from his face.

"YEOW! That bloody hell hurt, you fucking moron!" Ozwald yelled at Deadpool, but the Merc with the Mouth just simple ignored him as he pulled up another chair and sat down.

"Now Pengy pal manners, it's Christmas after all! A time for joy and sharing, and speaking of sharing how about sharing a little info with your bestest friend in the world! Like something on Black Mask?" Wade told him as Cobblepot would looked at him confusly.

"Why the bloody hell should I tell you? Why intrested to know about Sionis, if you just go talk to him ya self?!" he yelled out, clearly upset that Deadpool would waste his time and being all tied up.

"Cause my little friend I have no idea where he is, and since theres this little bounty on my head I don't have time to chase down assassins and spending Christmas Eve with my girl. So how about I start singing some Carols songs the classics, oh maybe I should start with Twelve days of Christmas!" Deadpool said in a cheery tone, to which Penguin gulped and started sweating a little.

"Alright, you made your point just don't sing that bloody song! Listen Sionis and I go way back in our war in the Black Market, he tries stealing my deals I tried to steal them back and vis versa. Lately I've been taking things, weapons mostly, right under his nose within his turf and you know what happened? It was a clean steal, no ambushes, no attempts to stop us except a few occasions of mask vigilanties such as Robin, Nightwing, and so on but no Black Mask." Cobblepot explained while Deadpool would grow confused.

"Wait, Nightwing is in Gotham? Didn't he move somewhere?" he asked outloud.

**"He possibly pays visits from time to time, he was Batman's first sidekick as the first Robin from what we learned."**

**"And since then there been plenty of Robin's here and there, some last long and some don't."**

"Pay attention you idiot! As I was saying, this kind of act draws susspicion, so I had my boys find and interrigate some of Black Mask men yet even they don't know whats going on, after a few fingers and eyeballs missing before they started talking. Anyways I had some of my boys go undercover for me just to see what was going on, it only lasted a week before i recieved a package from Sionis with a note stating that this was his last warning and inside the box were the severed heads of my men! What ever he's up too is worth killing many people to keep it a secrete, but I think there's more too it than that." Penguin explained and before Wade could ask anything else there was a loud noise comming from outside of the office.

**"Is it coming from where Harley and Candy went?"**

**"No, I think it's comming from the Lounge."**

"Ok Cobblepot just wait here, and don't move! I'll be right back." Wade said as he pressed the button on his belt and disappeared in thin air, all while Penguin remined tied in his chair.

"Could you atleast cut me loose! I need to change my pants after shitting myself!" he yelled out after Deadpool.

Lounge Arena

Tracey was looking down from the balcony booth she was standing in that held a great view of the fights down below, the blonde woman had a frown on her face as she watched the new commer wipe the floor brutally with the men she had pick for potential recruits for Deadpool when suddenly the Merc with the Mouth would suddenly appeared beside her, causing Tracey to nearly loose her balence when she was leaning over the safety railing and fallen to her death until Wade would caught her by the waist with his arms.

"Whoa, too close! Hey I should make a habbit of saving hot babes from near death." he said before pulling Tracey safely back and had her body pressed firmly against his, "So, what's up Trace? By the way looking good as ever!" he added a compliment.

"Oi boss, don't go scaring me wits half the death will ya?!" the blonde woman said in a half yell, but never the less wouldn't pull herself away from him as she much rather enjoy his company.

**"Ah the power of our charm that no woman can resist!"**

**"Rough around the edges and she still makes it look good on everything but the eyes!"**

"Sorry bout that babe, will promise to make it up to ya later. So what's going on out here?" Wade asked as he looked down at her cleavage down on the open top part of her outfit, Tracey took notice but didn't say anything and let her boss enjoy his view while answering.

"Well some new guy came in here and took part in the fight, after ruining one that was going on. Anyways he killed the ones on the floor and demands everyone else to demand where you are. It seems he came all this way looking for you." she finished explaining.

"Well, then who is it?" Wade asked as he looked down to see who was looking for him, down onto the arena floor one fo Penguins thugs was gasing and coughing up his own blood while a pale white fingerless glove hand wrapped aorund his neck before crushign it with a loud snapping sound and the thug went limp dead before being tossed away. Standing in the center surrounded by dead bodies was Lobo himself that was lighting up a cigar in his mouth with a blowtorch until he put it away and grabbed the tobacco when taking a deep puff, then took out of his mouth where smoke came out.

"Hell I thought this would be fun when I heard Deadpool was here, but now I'm getting bored. Speaking of which, where is that guy anyways so I can collect that bounty? I got a reputation to protect." the pale skin man said while looking around the arena he was in till his red eyes looked up, and there he saw Deadpool as the mask merc would turn towards the readers.

"As the character from the Author's favorite game would say: Well...Shit." Wade told the readers.

Chapter end.

**Authors Note.**

**I would like to point out that Lobo voice would sound like Brad Garrett, because seriously it sounds way better than David Sobolov's voice from the **_**Injustice**_** game, no offence to the actor himself.**

Deadpool: "Yeah, no shit there Sherlock."

**DDK: "Oh shut it Wade!"**

Deadpool: "Oh kiss my scar skin ass, ya prick!"

**DDK: "I don't get paid enough for this."**

Deadpool: "You don't get paid at all!"

**Alright later folks, DDK out.**

Deadpool: "Prick!"


	6. Chapter 6

**DDK does not own Deadpool or Batman**

"speaking"

_"thoughts"_

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the idiot side**

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the smart side**

Chapter 6: The Main Deadpool!

Somewhere in Gotham

Within the snow covered streets of Gotham City, Logan was walking and taking note of his surroundings as he was alone at the moment. So far there had been no one the mutant encountered, although from the sounds of the intercom speakers about a 'curfew' that might explained it along with a mild snow storm blowing through. Wolverine had survived worse than this so to him in a weather such as this one was just a cool breeze, right now he was trying to find out where he was only to stop then tilt his head back to sniff the air for a moment.

Inside another alley way in Gotham there were two figures a man and a woman, the man was dressed in winter street clothes that would make him look like a typical thug, the woman was dressed in a long winter trench coat that was black while wearing matching hat with the hair pins sticking in the back in a low bun with her hair being over shadowed that prevents the hair color to be seen, as well as wearing red gloves and boots that were not covered by her coat. Right now the thug had the woman pinned to the brick wall with his hand around her throat, while the other hand held a pocket knife that he lightly held the blade close to the womans cheek.

"Well ain't this a grand Christmas, shouldn't you be at home where it's nice and warm instead of out in the cold little lady?" the thug questioned the woman, however instead of fear expression being shown like he expect she had a annoyed look on her face before answering him.

"Actually, I never get cold being as I get warmed up all the time. As for being out , I was just on my way to a Christmas party with some friends of mine, I'm already running late and they are a dangerous couple. So if you don't mind, and not get killed, I'll be on my way." she said while attempted to push him off, but the thug just kept her in place which would make her send a glare his way.

"Look lady, I don't give a fuck who your friends are. In fact you are the first peice of ass I've seen all night, so how's about you and I go somewhere private for a little Christmas party of our own?" the thug suggested with a tooth like grin, which much to the womans disgust that didn't look like he brushed in months or years, and before the thug would do anything he was suddenly yanked away from her and his back slammed hard against the brick wall now along with someone holding the collar of his shirt.

"Bub, I don't think the lady is interested." Logan said, with a slight snarl in his tone, as he held the thug there against the wall then the mutant would turn his head towards the woman," You don't want to be here right now darlin." he told her, which the woman would nod in agreement as she walked away while thinking to herself.

_"I could've handled it but I've wasted enough time than I need too, now...where was that Steel Mill that Wade and Harley live in?"_ she thought to herself before disappearing from Logan's sight as he watched to make sure she left, when he was certain she was gone the thug spoke out.

"Who the hell you suppose to be, some freak trying to rip off the Bat?" he manage to say but then Logan would slam him hard agaisnt the wall again, then he saw a gloved fist being held up infront of his face.

"Now I've got alot of questions and your gonna give me answers, and Bub you best give me the kind of answers I want." the mutant told him but the thug didn't buy it.

"Oh what the hell ya gonna do freak? Not like it's going to make any-" he was cut off when the thug screamed when suddeny he saw three steel like blades comming out of closed fist, as if they were claws.

"See these? They can cut through you easily like wet tissue paper, and that is exactlly what is gonna happen if you don't cooperate." Logan told him, he wouldn't actually do it since he wouldn't want to cause trouble without knowing where he was or how other people respond, but that wouldn't mean he won't hurt the thug after seeing what he did to the woman.

"Wh...what the fuck are you?" the now scared thug asked while seeming ready to shit himself, of course afrer the events of Jokers death and Batman being 'missing' he thought fear was the least of his worries until now.

"All I'll tell you is this, I'm the best of what I do and what I do best isn't very nice. Now question number one: Where the hell am I?" Wolverine asked as he started interrigating the thug within the allyway.

With Deadpool and company.

Back at the Ice Burge Lounge, Wade was still in the same place with Tracey when he notice that the readers were there, "Hey, where the hell you guys go? By the start of this chapter you were no where in sight to see me beating the shit out of the ghost man down there." Wade told the readers this while Lobo himself was standing down within the arena and remained where he was.

**"Yeah, where they all go?"**

**"Must of went somewhere else, but the Author wouldn't let us know."**

**"Oh! Is it to check in on Harley and Candy?"**

**"I doubt it."**

_"Then where the hell did-AH FUCK!"_ Wade yelled in his head in pain when he felt a sharpe hook that was attach to a long metal chain grabbed onto his shoulder, then a hard yank caused him to be pulled down landed onto the arena floor with Lobo. As the alien bounty hunter had pulled the chain to release the hook from Deadpool, with lil chunk of bloody meat still attach on the pointed end, he placed his weapon away and grabbed his cigar that he remove from his mouth an held it.

"Look red boy it's nothing personal, in fact you can say I'm quite a fan of your work. Ain't no one I ever heard of that completes a contract without shutting his mouth up, guess that's why they call you the Merc with the Mouth." Lobo pause a moment to take a quick puff from his cigar before he continue," But the fact is that bounty on you would be enough to keep me busy here till Maxima cools off and let's me back home, I might also pick something good for her while I'm here." Lobo told Deadpool, who quickly got up to his feet.

"Wait, wait a minute, you hooked up with that fiery-tempered Queen of Alme-something-to do-with-boobs?" Wade asked him.

"Well she does have a nice pair on her chest, but yeah that's the one. Eh we started off when I busted into her palace guns blazing while on the job, lately though Maxi been giving me hell over bout some things I've done. Like smoking in the bedroom, being half way across the galexy without calling her, and always hanging out at my favorite bar with friends of mine...well what's left of them anyways after a few bar fights here and there." Lobo explained to the masked man.

"Wow, man that's rough. Maybe you do ought to give her a gift, after all it is the season of giving especially on Christmas!" Wade said to the alien bounty hunter, Lobo would soon finish with his cigar that he soon drop and put it out by stomping on it before speaking.

"Yeah your right, now normally I could go in and take something I want but that would cause a problem for the Main Man. That problem would involve a blue boyscout name Superman and his pals, as I much as I would want to go toe-ta-toe with each and one of them an kick their asses that would be a pain in the ass and waste of time. But they can't do anything if I got the cash to buy something..." Lobo would then reach behind his back and pulled out a sawed off shotgun that he held aiming at Deadpool," So that bounty on your head is enough to cover it all for the Main Man, and when the Main Man takes a contract he always gets the job done no matter what." once he finished his speech Wade would quickly drew both of his pistoles out and cross them over his arms while aiming at the pale skin man.

"First of all: You said "Main Man" two or three times. Second of all: The Author sucks. Thrid of all: I don't need to kick your ass to beat you, cause we know I'm the main character in this story and the readers love me for being Awesome. Forth of all:-" Wade gets interuppted when Lobo fired his shotgun that hits and sends him slamming to the floor, the mask merc would soon quickly get back up to his feet with a buckshot wound in his chest that was slowly healing on its own, "Hey, I wasn't finished you jackass!" Deadpool shouted until he saw Lobo grabbed his chain hook that he tossed and wrapped around Deadpool's ankles, "Oh come o-!" interrupted once more Wade was yanked and pulled by the chain again, this time though he was dragged on the floor until stopping when Lobo stomped his booted foot onto the chest. Next the Main Man would grab the throat of the Merc with the Mouth that he would lift up into air high above his head and starts spinning Deadpool around fast while only holding the merc up with one finger.

**"Oh this is not good for the stomatch!"**

**"Especially since we ate that bad taco a few chapters ago!"**

_"Not helping! Oh fuck, I think I'm gonna be sick!" _Wade thought during his uncomfotable mid-spin, Lobo was grinning and chuckling in amusment while he used his free hand to grab his shotgun then fired it up at Wade causing the mask man to be sent flying up into the air then crashed down hard back onto the floor, "Ugh, why does the Author always write things of me getting my ass kicked?" Wade wondered while he was face down onto the floor until he tilt his head to look up when he notice Lobo now stood above him.

"Now I know that I'm suppose to be taking you in alive, but didn't meant on what condition your body is in. So how bout I turn you into a pretzel huh?" Lobo asked but didn't wait on a answer as he was about to grab Deadpool, but didn't when he felt something hit against his back that he barely felt, "Excuse me a sec." he told Wade before turning his head to look behind, there standing with a metal baseball bat in her hands was Tracey as she held it swing ready.

"Back away from him, ya grease up pig!" the short blonde hair woman said as she swung the bat that hits Lobo's face, however the alien bounty hunter was unfaze by this and the metal bat was bent upon impact an Tracey was forced to drop her weapon when she felt her hands hurt, Lobo himself would start to stroke his chin in wonder.

"Hmm now this brings back a memory I never thought to remember, it's like deja'vu when that one chick came to help Sup's once. Alright Little lady I..." Lobo paused his sentence at what he saw, Deadpool had teleported beside Tracey with one arm wrapped around her wasite in a protective manner while the other arm was holding what appeared to be the tiniest handgun that the pale man has ever seen, " What the hell is this? A gun that a-" now it was Lobo's turn to be interrupted when suddenly a large boxing glove connected to the barrel punched the Main Man in the face, with the strength that almost match Superman, and send him flying back an crashed into the wall.

"Wow, who knew that Harley can find dangerous toys. Now then, Tracey baby I know you wanted to help but leave this to me for I have a plan!" Deadpool said as he and Tracey would disappeared from the use of Wade's teleporter belt.

**"Hehe yeah wait till that ghost man see's what we have in mind."**

**"Time to show the so called 'Main Man' what we're made of."**

Slowly comming out from the crashed hole, Lobo would shake his head to get the dizzy out of his eyes while rubbing his head, "Uh, what in the world..." the bounty hunter hold his sentence when he notice a large box with a magnifying glass slot with a big sign that read "Wade's Peep Show!" and standing next to it was Deadpool, only the Merc with the Mouth was dressed as a Showman by wearing a tuxedo over his regular costume, a black top hat over his head, and a fake curly mustache over his mask face.

"Why hello good sir! Might I interest you into something special, a one in a life time peep show that features the hottest girls in the universe!" Wade said as he stood beside Lobo with his arm wrap over shoulder and guided the pale skin man over to the box.

"Uh listen Chief, it's an interesting offer but I'm afraid I already got a lady of my own." Lobo explained while rubbing the back of his neck, obviously not away of Deadpools sad excuse of a disguise.

**"Wait, "sad excuse"? That's bullshit, its full proof!"**

**"Yes, one of our finest moments that gone right."**

"Ah a true faithful man to his woman, I can respect that my good man. But let me explain this to you, this right here is only a 'peep' show not a whore house to get laid, all you have to do is look through the magnifying glass here and that's it. You take one quick little peek and your lady wouldn't know a thing, I promise that my lips will be sealed." Wade explained to the Main Man, at this information Lobo would start stroking his chin once again but in hesitation.

"Well...I don't know..." Lobo said as he took a moment to think it over, that is until Wade added a little fuel to the fire.

"Tell you what, the first one is on me. And..." he paused a moment enough to lean in and whisper to Lobo's ear, " it's a hot French Maid." that was enough to get Lobo's red eyes to wide and a small grin appearing on his face.

"Well, I suppose I can take a quick look for a minute or two." the Main Man would say as he moved over to the looking glass and take a peek in. Inside he could see a make shift background of a bedroom with an open window that view The Eiffel Tower hinting that the scene was in Paris, however what he saw was Deadpool dressed in a French Maid outfit over his costume as he held a feather duster in his hand and was using it to dust around, next thing that happened he 'accidently' dropped the duster onto the floor.

"Oh lala, I seem to drop me feather duster! I think I shall turn around, bend over, and pick it up!" Wade said in a girlish french like accent voice as he turned around and bend forward infront of Lobo, what happened next caused the alien bounty hunter to scream out in terror before turning away and started vomiting onto the floor which Deadpool, now back to his regular costume, was leaning against the large box as he watched the pale man empty out his lunch, "You know I've heard that cross dressing was popular in France, you can never know what to expect when you meet people." was all that Wade could say before picking up the large box and used it to smash an trap Lobo with only his lower body and head exposed, "Now good sir I believe your ride is here." Deadpool would then lift the pale man up and slam him down onto the seat of the Space-Hog, Lobo's favorite space motorcycle.

"...Hey wait a minute, how did you get my ride in..." whatever question the Main Man was about to ask was halted when Deadpool had slapped his hand onto the bikes rear, caused it to rise up and makes a horse like sound, then takes off flying up an crashed through the ceiling with a screaming trapped Lobo riding on top till they both disappeared through the night.

**"HAHAHA! Did you see the look on his face?! Priceless!"**

**"Indeed, but I doubt that's the last time we have seen of him."**

_"Yeah but atleast now we can get back to what we were doing! Click!"_ Wade thought as he pressed the button into his belt and disappeared.

Back in Penguins office

"A little more to the left Harley." Candy instructed as she and Harley had exited out of Cobblepots room and were playing a little game of Darts with Tracey, however instead of using the board itself they had Penguin tied and bend forward with his fat ass up and had a paper drawn of the dartboard with score area's and there were multiple darts stuck to his rear bottom, thankfully the girls had re-taped Oswalds mouth otherwise they would had heard of the short fat mans scream of pain. On a dare Harley wore a blindfold over her eyes andhad thrown the dart missle right close to the bullseye which Penguin would scream out more against the duck tape.

"Oh, so close to the bullseye there luv." Tracey told the mix haired woman as Harley took the blind fold off just in time for Deadpool to re-appeared into the office.

"Puddin!" Harley squealed in joy as she ran and tackle hugged her boyfriend, which he returned the loving embrace back to her.

"So I take it that the plan worked?" Tracey asked her boss, which Wade would only nodded his head to her before letting harley go.

"You bet cha! The loser never saw it comming just like I planned, now that he's taken care of it's time for my investigation to conintue of finding Black Mask. Candy can you see if you can get me a GCPD uniform and Tracey does Pengy here have one of those patrol cars as well?" he asked both his assitence.

"You got it boss, I'll get on it right away." Candy said as she would exit out the office.

"I think old Cobblepot has one in the garage area where he keeps get away cars, let me go check." Tracey said as she left through the same exit that Candy used.

"What are we gonna do Puddin?" Harley asked her masked boyfriend, who only responded by grabbing her ass with his hand, which caused her to squek and moan at the same time.

"I'll explained all in the next chapter, that is if the Author is done with it." Wade said to his hot girlfriend, just then he heard a pain like groan comming from Penguin that Wade would look over and observe the fat midget an saw the 'board', "OH! Darts! I love this game!" Deadpool said in excitement as he would pull out a crossbow and loaded it up with arrows, Penguin had looked back in time to see Deadpool aiming the crossbow his way and he screamed loud enough to blow the duck tape off his mouth.

Chapter end

**DDK: "Hey Deadpool, you seen one of the trailers of Arkham Knight?"**

Deadpool: "Why the fuck are you asking me that when you should be working on writing my story?"

**DDK: "Because this one has Harley in it, a little pre-view of what happens if you pre-ordered the game. Which I had done, I can show it to you it'll only take a minute."**

Deadpool: "Why would I need to watch a trailer of my hot ass girlfriend when got the real thing?"

**DDK: "Oh just watch the damn video."**

Deadpool: "Fine, but ONLY a minute. Just like you said."

**DDK: "Whatever jackass." *shows Deadpool the video clip of Harley Quinn in Arkham Knight***

a minute later

Deadpool: "HOLY FUCKING SHIT, I'M FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN!"

**DDK: "See? Told you it wasn't-" *gets cut off when Harley runs in on them***

Harley: "Puddin, is everything alright? I heard you screaming."

Deadpool: "Harley babe! You gotta check this video of you in that new game!" *grabs DDK's laptop to show it too her*

Harley: "Oh a vid? Let me see."

**DDK: "Hey wait a sec!"**

Deadpool: "Shut it jackass!" *press play on the video clip*

a minute later...again

Harley: "OH MY GOD! I'M HOT!"

Deadpool: "I KNOW RIGHT?!"

**DDK: *sighs* "DDK out folks."**


	7. Chapter 7

**DDK does not own Deadpool or Batman**

"speaking"

_"thoughts"_

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the idiot side**

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the smart side**

Chapter 7: Deadpools BIG PLAN!

**"This is not gonna work."**

**"Huh, why not? It worked with Lobo!"**

**"That's because the Author made him look like an idiot!"**

_"Oh would you two schmucks relax already? Trust me, this plan is full proof."_ Wade thought as he finished straight up the police hat on his head, currently Wade was dressed as a Gotham police officer over his costume once again, he was inside the patrol car on the drivers side that was parked within a allyway with the GCPD building right around the corner, " Gotta hand it to chubby bird, he comes prepared for anything. Especially if he wants a henchman going undercover, how do I look Harley?" Wade asked looking in the backseat through the cage bar, there Harley was seated with her hands behind her back because of the handcuffs she wore.

"Like the kind that I want rip those clothes off and take ya right here an now, I do love a man in uniform. But seriously puddin, why am I handcuffed?" she asked her disguese wearing boyfriend, of course she had been handcuffed plenty of times from being defeated by Batman or the times that Deadpool would use them to their bed post, but still she was wondering what he had in mind for this.

" I'm glad you ask that babe, and for that I shall reveal my plan!" Wade said as he pulled out a blueprint schmatic of the GCPD building with the big capitalize words "BIG PLAN" on the back, on the schmatic displays there were a bunch of crayon drawings on it, " So in order to find the person that wants us alive we need to find Black Mask first, thing is though no one knows where Sionis is at. And what better way to tracking down a ruthless crime lord? By following where the money goes of course, Sionis is funding his mysterious partner for super secrete projects that involves the Titan Venom AND is in need of me...possibly more of my blood. Anyways to find Sionis we need to follow the money, which we would need the the GCPD server to access the national criminal database, by now Black Mask must have some dirty cops working for him to keep his info a secrete if he's paying them." Deadpool explained as he tap a red crayon to where the server would possibly located.

**"Wait, didn't Batman try this before years ago?"**

**"Yes, only instead of sneaking in though the roof top entrance we're going in through the front doors!"**

"Oh relax it'll go smoothly, now where was I?...Oh yeah! So this is how we're gonna do this, I go to turn in Harley so that the crooked cops can take her to the jail blocks, according to Tracey's info before we left Penguin's ass covered in arrows there are some lock up thugs that were schedueled to be transfered to Black Gate Prison. However they'll be transfered to our side, Harley will round up new recuits that may leave a few with broken bones or missing bloody limbs, for artillery stuff I'm pretty sure SWAT can spare some armor, weapons, and vehicles to transport the men." Wade said as he circle around the Cell Block along with a mini drawing of a cute chibi Harley.

**"By *spare*, you mean stealing."**

**"Hey it's not stealing if you got something cute and adorible asking them nicely!"**

"Aww shucks boys, I'm not just cute and adorible I also have a killer figure!" Harley said as she stuck her chest out to display herself, which Wade would turn around and took some quick snapshot photo's on a cellphone he took from Cobblepot, before she got back to business, "So sweetie, are you planning to hack into their systems with your new gift I gave ya?" Harley asked, and in a flash Deadpool hold up the said device in his hand.

"Sure do, and I even got a name for it! Since the hacking is base off a Pac-Man game, and I just realised that the higher security the more difficult the level is and that I only have three life attempt to break in. Anyways I've decided to call this sweet tool...the Dead-Pac!" Deadpool exclaimed, silence filled in the car with the only sounds were crickets coming from no where until Wade turn to the readers," Don't blame me folks, it's the Authors fault for coming up with lame names." Wade told everyone.

**"Wait, what if they have something that disables it?"**

**"That's right, before they had something that could scramble the system to static."**

"Well then this would come in, the present I gotten from Candy and Tracey. Behold! The Dis-Pool!" Wade shouted as he pulled out the Disruptor in his hands, only it was painted in a mix color of red and black, Deadpool would turn to the readers, "Once again folks, not my idea for the name. Blame the Author, it's what I always do!" he told the readers before putting the disruptor away as he continued with his plan, "So while Harley gets the boys out and head back to the Steel Mill to arm up, the first task they will do is finding out where those missing stripper girls from the party are being held and getting them back!" Deadpool suggested.

**"Yeah! We can't continue the party without them!"**

**"That plan I can go with!"**

" I'll be sure to make that one mentioned in the cell blocks sweetie!" Harley said in agreement to her boyfriends suggestion of what the thugs will do.

"Great! Now while that's happening, I will make my way over to the GCPD servers to gain access. With luck I'll be able to get in without the alarms going off, if not and the whole department is on high alert then that's when my Christmas present comes in." as Wade said this he pulled out a green wrapped present box in his hand.

**"Oh, what's inside it?"**

"Can't tell you yet, you'll have to wait and find out later. If the Author allows it." Wade said as he put away the present and started the engine of the patrol car, "Alright, the plan is all set. Everybody ready?" he asked outloud.

**"Ready."**

**"Ready!"**

"Ready!" Harely said in the backseat of the car.

"Then let's get this show on the road!" Deadpool said as he hit the gas pedal with his foot, the patrol car's tires would make screeching sounds before taking off away from the allyway and towards the GCPD building. Right after a minute they left though Wolverine had showed up. after his interrigation of the thug the mutant got enough information about another world he was in that was full of different heroes and villians but out of all of that there one person that got his interest and thus was the reason he was looking for said person as Logan would sniff around the area.

" *sniff sniff* I know that scent of cheap hot sauce from anywhere...DEADPOOL!" Logan shouts echoed from within the allyway.

With Deadpool pulling up in the GCPD garage entrance

**"Did you guys hear something?"**

**"I didn't hear anything."**

_"Must be some dogs and cats fighting somewhere, doesn't matter now cause we're here!"_ Deadpool thought as he pulled up to an police officer that was standing on watch by the entrance gate, when the car stopped the Officer would examine the car and a suprise look was on his face.

"Hey, this Patrol Car K-71? Where the hell has it been?" he asked as Deadpool would answer him by changing the subject.

"Hey Billy!" Wade said to the cop.

**"Wait, how do we know his names 'Billy'?"**

**"Quite stubby!**

" Listen buddy, can you open the gate? I caught this little lady in the back and let me tell you, she has been a hand full." Wade said as Billy would wipe the snow off the window to get a better look inside the back seat, he would jump back when he saw Harley's face press up against the glass and making faces against it.

"Holy shit, Harley Quinn?! How the fuck did you catch her?" Billy would ask Wade while he went to open the gate for the disguised merc.

"Caught her red handed trying to break into a taco resturant, all for wanting a chimichanga. I was lucky her boy toy wasn't around." as Wade said this it was time for Harley's act by changing her facial expression to look upsetting.

"Don't you talk bout my Puddin that way! He happen to loves me very very very much! He'll come for me an when he does he'll be sssoooooo mad, you'll see!" Harley said putting up her best actress skills that she has.

**"She could be a hot movie star if that keeps up!"**

**"A fine Oscar Award well deserved for her!"**

"You see what I mean of what I have to deal with of bringing her in? Anyways thanks again Billy, Merry Christmas!" Wade said as he pulled the car through the gate and into the garage area while Billy would just stand back an wave at the retreating car.

"Yeah bud, Merry Christmas to you too!...Wait a minute, my names Frank not Billy!" the officer named Frank said as he was about to grab his walkie-talkie to call in back-up, but before he could do that though Deadpool suddennly appeared behind him and wack him on the back of his head with a nightstick causing the officer to have a dizzy expression on his face along with floating stars circling around his head.

"You meant your names 'Billy' not 'Frank'. " Wade said correctiong him as 'Billy' would nod dumbly.

"Uh yeah that's right, my names 'Billy'. What you high or some..." 'Billy' didn't get to finished his sentence as he fallen back and was now unconcious that soon followed by a loud snooze.

"That's right, sleep on the job no one would mind. Night Billy" Wade said before disappearing once again and headed back inside the station with Harley so that he could carried off with his plan.

Chapter End

Deadpool: "Hey Author! Why aren't we going into the police department yet?!"

**DDK: "Cause Arkham Knight is less than days away, and I plan to see who is gonna be in it."**

Deadpool: "Why the hell you would do what? You got me in this story! What's more awesome than that?"

**DDK: "I had you kill some characters from the last story that was suppose to appear in the game."**

Deadpool: "Bah fine! As long as I'm the main character...wait a minute was that Wolverine in this story?"

**DDK: "Uh...DDK out folks!" *runs away from Deadpool***

Deadpool: "Hey! Get back here asshole!" *runs after the Author with a katana in his hand*


	8. Chapter 8

**Authors Note**

**Ok folks, DDK here and I just want to get something to say about a review I read before we get started. Littleblackduck, I've already read your story WAY before you put it in the review, it's on another fanfiction sight called "When Spidey Met Batgirl" and before you start I've also read "When Spidey Met Oracle". So I'm not sure if I'm getting this right but I got the feelign you are trying to tell me something, either that or you just wanted me to read it. Which both stories are good in my opinion.**

**Ok onto the next story!**

**DDK does not own Deadpool or Batman**

"speaking"

_"thoughts"_

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the idiot side**

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the smart side**

Chapter 8

Deadpool was currently escorting Harley down the hallway within the GCPD building by holding her arm with his hand, already they were passing by police officers that were wearing SWAT uniform, to Wade it would seem there was more of them than the regular boys in blue. Some even stopped what they were doing just to look at the couple, and when the couple passed by both would started whispering to each other that Deadpool could only make out the words of someone name 'Branden' before he was stopped by two more police officers.

"Hey is that Quinn?" the first officer asked as Wade got a good look at the name tag of Miller on his uniform while the second ones name being Jonath.

"That's right buddy, I was lucky enough to catch her off guard before slapping the cuffs on her." Wade said as he slightly yank the woman infront of him.

"Hey! Watch it you damn dirty-hot-good looking cop that I have know idea who you are!" Harley shouted towards Wade when she turned her head to look at him.

**"Oscar award indeed."**

**"And very hot!"**

"Man this has been some night. First was Gorden taking the night off, then we got Yin and Branden going at each others throats, and we just recently arrest Bane after he appeared out of no where by dropping from the sky that was soon sent to Black Gate. Now we got the Joker's girlfriend showing up." Jonath said as he went over to grab Harley, however she had quickly head butted him in the face that made him yell in pain and grabbed his nose when it started bleeding.

"That's EX-girlfriend dumbass! I already got a new man, and he'll come for me for sure!" she yelled at the cop while Miller would quickly come around and restrain her once Wade had let her go from his grasp.

"Oh now that look like it hurt, maybe you should think before you talk pal. Otherwise things could get a little messy" Wade told the cop, who was cursing under his breath while holding his bleeding nose before he walked off to the Infirmary section within the building, the disguised merc would turn his attantion back to Miller," So what was that about somebody at each others throats?" he asked the officer.

"Freshly transfer on the first day huh? Yeah you see Gorden had left Ellen Yin in charge for the night but Branden, that is the head of SWAT, had been giving her trouble by questioning at what she does but if you ask me I think the old man is just pissed that he's not the one in charge tonight." Miller explained as he walked Harley over to the elevator that leads down to the cell blocks and waited after pressing the button.

**"Wait, Branden? The SWAT guy from Origins? Didn't they get rid of him?"**

**"Must of been able to keep his job, that or the Author just added him in."**

**"And is this Ellen Yin from the animated Batman cartoon?"**

**"Looks like it, must of done some searching from anything that relates to Batman and putting them in this story."**

_"And if I remember correctly, she has been recently transfer from Metropolis after the events of Arkham City. Infact she has decided to try to catch me and wouldn't give up, ah I love a woman that has it out for me!"_ Wade had thought to his inner voices.

**"Especially one that looks asian too!"**

**"I don't think that's how she looks, I'm starting to think that the Author has an obsession with attractive asian women."**

**"Well that explains alot." **

**"Indeed."**

"Sounds rough pal, especially if the guy hounding her is the leader of SWAT team." Wade told Miller this, which the officer could only nod his head.

"Yeah, whole SWAT is right behind him as well but those guys are all dirty cops anyways, some of the good ones are right behind Yin on this one so she's not doing this on her own. Right now both are having different meetings,Yin is in the Bullpen and Branden's in Conference, they just got word of an involvement about Deadpool." as Miller said this the elevator made a ding sound and the doors open," Well I best take Quinn down to the cell blocks, see ya around kid. You'll need it around here." he said as he pulled Harley into the elevator, right before the doors closed however Harley gave Wade a wink and as soon as the doors closed he heard the sounds of beating and Millers painful grunts just as Wade pull out the blueprint map of the building.

"Alright so maybe that guy might not have been crooked but Harley is going to the cell blocks anyways, now the best way to get to the server room is through the Bullpen room and sneak pass alot of cops without drawing attention to ourselves." Wade said as he put the blueprint away then would make his way through the door that held the 'Bullpen' sign right above the door. Inside the undercovered merc had saw a group of police officers having a meeting infront of a board with his picture in the center and all others around him, only his was bigger, while some of the other officers that weren't part of the meeting was going through their own business at desk. Wade made his way to the back of the group where he saw Ellen Yin standing infront of the board, along with standing on each side was Harvey Bullock and Aaron Cash, as the woman in charge spoke up for everyone to hear.

"Alright, as you all are aware Black Mask has put up a bounty on the head of Deadpool, similar to the bounty placed on Batman years ago by the deceased criminal The Joker, only instead Deadpool is to be brought in alive for unknwon reason and the prize reward of a hundred million dollars." Ellen said as she got a reaction of what she expected of some taking interest of trying to claim the bounty, thankfully Cash and Bullock put a stop to it shortly before Yin continued, "Now from the intel we gathered after interrigating Bane before he was sent to Blackgate, there are a total of eight assassins with a few that are new while the rest were the original contracts in the past. Some of you may not have heard of them before but they are highly dangerous, and since Bane has been taken in there are only seven left-" Ellen was interrupted when someone in the back yelled "Six!" which she look in the direction where the voice came from, "What?" she asked in confusion.

"There are only six assassins left, one of them I think Lobo was his name got possible taken out by Deadpool." Wade had said when every had turn to look at him, it was then that Bullock would make his way towards the crowd and stand infront of the disguised merc.

"Ok wise guy, how do you know about this and why didn't you say something sooner?" Harvey asked with a upsetting tone in his Italian like voice while slightly towered over Wade to look down at him.

"Because uh on my way here I saw a flying motorcycle flying off and into the night sky leaving Gotham I think, by the way I think you need to cut back on those donuts cause..." Wade paused so that he could lean in to whisper in Bullocks ear, " ya seem to be gaining weight there tubby boy." he added with a backhand pat on his stomach and Harvey's face went red in anger.

"That's enough Bullock, we don't need another scene here so just take back your spot." Aaron advised when he step up and place a hand on the mans shoulder, Harvey had a frown on his face but he comply as he and Cash would return to their place as Ellen continued.

"Alright, so there are only six left and with...wait who was that?" she asked when looking at where Wade was a moment ago as she thought he looked familier, but when everyone turned in Wade's direction he was already gone. Meanwhile our favorite Merc with the Mouth had just snuck away from the crowd of officers and made it to the nearest restroom door, looking back and forth down the hallway he saw that the coast was clear.

_"Shit that was too close, what the hell were you thinking Author? These chumps may be dumb but that Ellen Yin chick is smarter than she looks, she almost reconised me if I hadn't stayed in the back and kept my mouth shut!" _Wade thought angerly towards the Author of his cover almost blown.

**"Yeah, we don't need the whole GCPD after us just yet!"**

**"Still need to give Harley some time as well as finding an hacking that server. This would require some stealth."**

_"Yeah your right, but first...I gotta use the little boys room." _Wade thought as he quickly went inside, however he found that he was not alone as there were two SWAT guys inside using the unrinals with one open in between them.

"Hey you heard? Joe and Gus just saw Harley Quinn being brought in just now." one of the SWAT guys said.

"Yeah, Braden heard it from them and told those two to gather a bunch of the guys then go down an bring her to him. Said something about using her as bait to lure her boyfriend." the other guy said as they both didn't notice Deadpool behind them.

"Wouldn't mind fifteen minutes alone with her, she may got an annoying voice but damn she got a fine figure on her I would like to hit on." the first one said as Wade would turn and glare at the Author for that sentence.

"I don't, that bitch was a pain in the ass when her Ex was still alive and even more with her new guy around. Well long as she's behind bars that crazy bitch won't bust my nuts." the second one said as the first make a snot like sound.

"Dude, your ex-wife took care of that years ago." just as the first guy said this Deadpool would soon step in toward the middle urinal stall between them, slapped the first SWAT guy in the back making him stumble before regaining his balence.

"Hey you dicks hang out here often? Haha! Get it with the dicks?...Forget it." Wade said while ignroing the officer that complained when he slapped him, unziping his pants Wade would start whistling as he relief himself, " {whistling} The pee pee song. I'm gonna sing the pee pee song .~ " Wade sang as he took a glance at the second officer on his left side, "Nice dick." he said before turning to the readers and held his hand out with his index and thumb fingers bargle close to each other while shaking his head till he return back to facing forward, "{sighs} Haven't drain the ol'lizard since..." Wade stop when he realized something, _"Wait, when did I last went take a piss?...Before the begining of the story?" _ he asked in his thoughts.

**"I don't think we did."**

**"Wait...you don't think..."**

**"That we never went since the begining of this Series?"**

**"Yep, and that was like...over a year ago in this timeline!"**

_"_Holy shit that is alot worth...yeah I'm just gonna go release the pressure."Wade said outloud to the other two officers accompany him.

"Ah dude, don't talk while I pee. Alright?" First said, which being as the Author didn't gave them names so Wade was gonna refer to them as First and Second.

"Ahh, that water is cold...and deep!" Wade said with a small chuckle.

" *throat cleared sound* " came from Second voice.

"Yeah, I don't measure by length, I go by weight." Wade would say.

"Uhh..." First was unsure of what to say at that.

"Hey, blood in your pee is normal, right?" Wade whispered the question to Second.

" *nervous whistle* " Second would whistle with his head turn away from Deadpool.

"Haha, it burns so good!" Wade exclaimed.

" *small fake cough* " this time was First that make when clearing his throat.

"GAH! I think I just passed a stone!" Wade blurted out when he felt a slight pain while pissing.

"Damn, not the shoes." Second muttered when he accidently got piss on his feet due to Wade's startle outburst.

"Hey buddy, ya wanna give me a hand with this? It's kinda heavy." Wade would ask First on his right.

"Not cool man. Really?" First would complain to the mask undercovered merc.

"Not one to judge, but why don't your drapes match the carpet?" Wade would ask Second on this one.

"Dude, don't look! Trying to go here." Second said nervous as he tried to finished as quick as he could to get away.

"You should really have those moles checked." Wade told First.

"Is this normal?" First asked curiously but didn't get an answer.

"Hey, covered wagon! Haven't seen one of those since my last game. Still disgusting, you know you get head cheese under there." Wade told Second when he glance over to the left.

" *small fake cough* " Second would ignore Deadpool on this.

"You know I had a friend who had two holes on him. Called him 'Dos'. " Wade would say to First.

" *throat clear* " First would once again clear up his throat.

"Hey, look at that buddy. Ever seen anything like that, that was still white?" Wade asked Second while tilting his hip for Second to see what he showed.

"Really?" Second said in disguisted as he turned his head away.

"Wow. That is a whole lotta piss!" Wade said as he still kept peeing in the urinal, a years worth at that.

"Man, hey your right." First would said in a small chuckle.

After that all three of them went silent in the bathroom, with the only noise being made were pissing sounds as Wade waited and waited and waited and WAITED till he finished emptying out his piss that felt lasted for almost a hour till he FINAL stopped, once he felt that he was done Wade would step away from the urinal, "Okay. I get it. Never break the guy code ever again!" he said in fustration as Wade pulled out both his pistols, First would glance back to see what was up but what he saw was a long black bar covering over Wade's pelvis and two handguns aiming at him.

"Oh shi-!" First tried to scream but was cut off when Wade fired two shots into his throats that made First slump back and seated his ass down onto his urinal stall with his head handing down, Second would turn around in time to get shot in the head as he fell face first into his stall that was filled with his own piss with a lil blood mixing in, putting both of his pistols away Deadpool would zip up his pants up.

"Fuck! Once again I can't think of any good dick jokes, especially repeated ones! What a wasted opportunity, but thats what those two get for talking bout my Harley, now thanks to the Author somebody will hear those shots so I guess I won't need this no more." Deadpool said as he grabbed his police uniform and pratically rip it off of him like paper as he was back to his old costume once again.

**"Well that was indeed a waste of time."**

**"But it was well worth it, who knows when we need another bathroom break!"**

"You can..." Wade paused a moment as he heard the sounds of rushing footsteps, "Crap we got company!" he said as Wade looked around the bathroom for something until he spotted it when a idea pop into his head. A second later the bathroom door busted open and three armed police officers came in holding pistols and saw the two dead SWAT officers, unknowest to them they passed an bar up air vent as Deadpool was crawling inside and away from the bathroom, "I don't know why people make these vents man size, but it comes in handy!" he said as he continue forth through the ventelation shaft.

**"Now how are we suppose to navigate through all this vent stuff? It's like a maze in here!"**

**"Maybe the 'map' might have something to tell us where we are?"**

"Right, let's see here." Wade said as he pulled out the map once again, unknowest to Deadpool he missed a shadow had move pass the spinning fan on the other end before the merc would look up from his map and looked to the readers, "Do you get the feeling that we're not alone in this shaft?" Wade ask outloud.

**"Almost like that time we watch that horror movie once."**

**"Alien! Get the hell out of there!"**

Hearing his inner voice said that Deadpools eye lids went wide and he started crawling through the air vent tunnel fast, all the while that he heard another crawling noise echo within the vent and he could of swore that it was right behind him, _"I am NOT HAVING A ALIEN BABY!"_ Wade yelled in his thoughts as he saw the exit right up ahead that was blocked by the bar door, upon reaching it Deadpool started punching and kicking it to open but wouldn't budge, "Come on, how can Batman do this shit but I can't?!" Wade yelled when he suddenly heard a hissing noise right behind him, slowly Wade would turn his head and he was met with glowing yellow eyes that made him scream and jump back which resulted his body weight to break the bar as he fallen down and landed on his back.

**"Son of a bitch!"**

**"Son of a bitch!"**

"Uh son of a bitch, that sure hurt." Wade said as he groan in pain that he felt on his back, before he try to get back up he felt a sudden weight landed on top of him. Looking up he saw the yellow eyes belonging to Copperhead as the short blonde hair woman was strandling down on top of Wade and she had a smirk on her face, "Oh wait it's not an Alien, its just Copperhead boy do I feel stupid...wait...Copperhead?!" Wade yelled in total shock.

Chapter end.

**"Oh come on Author!"**

**"This is bullshit!"**

Deadpool: "NO SHIT! I wanna know what the hell she was doing there!"

**DDK: "Don't worry, you'll see in the next chapter. DDK out."**

Deadpool: "You know I am starting to REALLY hate that guy!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Authors Note**

**DDK here, abit warning that there is a slight _Arkham Knight _involvement in this chapter, and NO it's not the Arkham Knight or Scarecrow, but he does make an re-appearance in the game and would possibly piss Deadpool off. On word with the story!**

**DDK does not own Deadpool or Batman**

"speaking"

_"thoughts"_

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the idiot side**

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the smart side**

Chapter 9: Surprise Harley!

**"What the hell is the hot snake lady doing here?!"**

**"Good question, maybe we should ask her."**

_"Good thinking."_ Wade thought while Copperhead was still on top of him on the ground, and the way they were position was rather intimate along with-,_ "Hey Author! We both know ya not gonna do a Lemon scene, so drop it already you no good prick!"_ Wade yelled in his thoughts towards the Author before turning his attention back to the woman who pinned him down along with a slight grinding-,_ "God fucking damn it Author!" _Wade screamed in thought.

"Hola senor Deadpool, yo fue no esperando a encontrar ustedes..." Copperhead had started to speak spanish before her voice was blocked off by Deadpool as he couldn't understand a word she was saying.

_"Oh come on! I can't understand a fucking word she is saying, can we get a fucking translator? Subtitles? ANYTHING?!" _Deadpool yelled in his mind for anything that comes to mind.

**"I think I remember there was a on button for 'English' here."**

**"Wait a minute, why didn't you say there was one?!"**

**"No body asked me!"**

_"Just hit the fucking button!" _Wade yelled at his inner voice.

**"Alright already! *hits the button*" **

**"I don't even want to know how you hit something with no hands...or even a body."**

"...So I'll come back for that bounty right after." Copperhead had finished her speaking right as her speech was turn from Spanish to English.

"Finally, some progre...wait what did you just sa-" Wade was about to ask the woman to repeat what she said only to feel a sharp sting right to his heart, Copperhead had one of her talon claws was digging deep into Deadpools chest before pulling it out that was now covered in blood then would get off of Wade. All of a sudden Wade was feeling a little light headed as the world around him seemed to be spinning as he watch Copperhead headed to the door with the 'Cell Blocks' sign right above it, " You...you think this is gonna kill me? With ya freaking poison? Fat chance...have a healing fact...bitch." Wade would say, his voice sounded like he was drunk, as he slowly got up to his feet with a little wobble here and there.

"No, but it's enough to slow you down for a while. See you soon Deadpool." the short blonde hair woman said as she opened the door and went through inside, once she left Deadpool would take note of his surroundings even in his state of his vision being slightly blurry but was about to make out the sign above that Wade was at his destination.

"Oh looks, we've finally made...oh bloody shit I don't feel so well!" Wade said as he immediatly started vomiting through his mask along with a little bit of blood adding in.

**"Oh that is gonna leave a stain on the mask!"**

**"And I might suggest using shit loads of breath mints, no need for Harley to smell the foul stinch when kissing her."**

_"No shit, but wait what did Copperhead had said? We couldn't get everything what with the Author making her speak that we didn't understand." _Wade thought before vomiting a second time through the mask, making a large mess on the floor.

**"What did she even mean? Hold on you think she's after Harley?!"**

**"Why would you think she go after her? The two never met to hold a grudge on."**

**"Cause Harley gots a great ass and breast!"**

**"...Good point, save Harley first then deal with the server later."**

"Sounds like a plan, hold on Harley baby! I'm comming to save you!" Deadpool said as he started to get a little better now before he jump up into the open air vent and crawl inside, not long after he left the departments elder janitor man would come in with a bucket and mop as he see's the mxi of puke and blood on the floor.

"Not again. That's it, after tonight I'm quiting this shit." the nameless janitor said as he drop the bucket and went clean up the mess with the mop.

with Deadpool in the air vent

Deadpool was crawling around in the ventilation shaft as he looks for a way to get down to the cell blocks, so far he only follow the pathways that would lead downwards. While almost stopping and planting some sticky bombs on the side walls inside, double checking to make sure they work and armed, then would proceed with his path.

**"Uh shouldn't we have taken the elevator to go down?"**

_"Nah, elevators are too slow. And we're on the clock so we best get moving." _Wade answer as he placed bomb number eleven onto the side and armed it.

**"What's with all those bombs? Are we really planning to blow up the whole station?"**

_"Nope, that would lead disaster of missing cops in the next story the Author would make. So we're gonna leave them a present where they can take the night off." _ Wade said as he placed his final sticky bomb onto the side, _"There we go, bombs are in place." _Wade added.

**"What kind of a present that would involve bombs?"**

"Oh ho you'll see, you'll all see very soon." Deadpool said as he couldn't help but laugh at what he had planned, once he made sure the last bomb was armed Wade would continue further his path, "Now according to the blue prints map, the ventalation exit to the cell blocks should be around HHEERRREEE!" Deadpool screamed when he turned around the corner and fell down through the shaft, causing him to bump and hit on all sides until the mask merc crashed into another bared door and broken through as he hit the ground on his back, "...Oh shit...I'm gonna feel that for a while." Wade said as he loked up at the ceiling with red lights flashing, right before Deadpool knew it Harley's pretty face hovering over in his view upside down and she had a concern look on her lovely face.

"Puddin, are you ok?" Harley asked with abit of worry in her voice, however Deadpool just jump up to his feet and grabs her hips to lift the woman up,which caused a surprise squeal comming from her, and Wade spun her around in joy.

"Harley! You are safe! Oh I had been so worried, I thought the hot snake chick would get you first before I do!" Wade said in a happy tone before setting Harley down onto her feet, it was then that the mask merc notice something within the Cell Blocks, "Hey, who the hell are those guys? And what's with the dead half naked dudes on the floor?" he asked, there were a bunch of bodies of men strip down to only their boxers with cuts and bruises on them while some that were standing are wearing SWAT style clothing and seem to be armed themselves with random melee objects and guns.

"Oh, some of the dirty cops came down here earlier looking for lil ol me. I've manage to beat the crap out of all of them then free the prisoneers after offering them to join us, and they greatly agreed to it!" Harley said in excitement just as one of the new Deadpool Thug had walked over to them.

"Well, there were some that had abit of a problem of working for you Boss. Don't worry though, we took care of those jackass and we're all ready on your word." he said to Wade, which the Merc with the Mouth nodded in approval.

"Very good, first order of bussiness making sure you ALL have bad ass stuff!" Deadpool said as he looked at each and every convict in the room, " First would be the uniforms, I'm liking how SWAT dress code looks but needs a little change here and there. Like..."Wade paused as he pulled a random thug that was dress in full SWAT uniform, "..replace all the blue with red, blood red maybe, along with Deadpool symbols here and there on the uniform." Wade said as he pulled out a red marker and put in 'X' spots on certain places on the uniform till he paused an look behind him, "You getting all this Harley baby?" he asked his hot girlfriend.

"All written down sweety!" Harley said as she held a note pad in one hand while the other held a pen that she was using to write down on what Wade said.

**"What's-his-name, clearly has no taste in Harley's hot secretary skills."**

**"Yeah, his dead lost...our BIG fucking gain!"**

"You got that right, anyways thank you minion number 23 for the assitence." Wade told his newly henchmen and pushed him forward back to the group, "Now second of all: Weapons! Military style is high on the market, but right at this moment the closes thing of it would be the heat that SWAT is packing. SO while I go hack into the main frame of GCPD super computer and possibly raise alot of alarms Harley here will lead the raiding on their weapons stock and hop in a big van or two and drive off to HQ in Arkham City!" Deadpool announced as this cause some cheering noises came from his newly recruits.

**"Boy that's one way of rallying up the troops."**

**"None of this won't matter if we don't get going."**

"Right I better get started, Harley is in charge from here on boys! You give her any trouble, or even look at her 'funny' then she has my blessing to put a bullet in ya nuts!" as Wade said this the new Deadpool Henchmen looked towards Harley, who was smiling brightly at them while she held up a pistol in her hand taken from the SWAT officers that came to get her, upon seeing that gun and smile face each and every member quickly covered their own groin with their hands in fear. Once they all took the hint, along with adding some other threats here an there, Wade would pop over next to Harley with his hand cover over his mouth as he whispered in her ear, "And make sure you watch yourself Harl, there is a creepy yet sexy snake that might try to get the jump on ya." he said before kissing her cheek which made Harley blush from the contact, even if it was through his mask when he kissed her.

**"We still don't know if Copperhead is after Harley!"**

**"And like I said, tits and ass!"**

Noneless ,Harley would nodded her head that assure Deadpool that she was safe and secure before teleporting away in thin air. After he left Harley and the new recruits would start making their exit out the Cell Blocks and towards the Armory Room where SWAT would keep all their weapons, and possibly more gear, locked away but thankfully for Harley there were some among the thugs that know how to break in without sounding the alarms. She was the last one out until suddenly Harley stopped, she didn't know why but there was something in the air that made Harley felt uneasy, as if feeling that something was behind her the mix haired woman would slowly turn around to find the barrel of a gun pointed at her head, and holding the gun was a ill sick Joker that was smiling with that sick grin of his.

"Miss me toots?" was all Joker said before pulling the trigger and Harley's world went dark.

Chapter end

**See you all next time, DDK out.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Authors Note**

**A little note to everyone, some part of this story would involve Harley, don't worry you all will see plenty of Deadpool sooner than you think! As for the question if this series will continue after **_**Arkham Knight**_**, well let me get through this story first as well as make the next story after, then we'll see where this series go from there.**

**DDK does not own Deadpool or Batman**

"speaking"

_"thoughts"_

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the idiot side**

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the smart side**

Chapter 10: Deadpools Next Target!

Harley would slowly start to stir awake for who knows how long, it just accured to the mix haired woman that she had the craziess dream. First she was back in her old job as a phychiatrist in Black Gate on Christmas Eve, then she had first met Joker in what she thought was love at first sight when talking to him, but then later on after she help him escape jail and joined up with the Clown Prince of Crime the abuse had started in their relationship. It continue on for years until the events at Arkham Asylum, where Harley had met the most amazing man that entered her life by the name of Wade Wilson aka Deadpool, a man that had risk his life back in Arkham City when she was poisoned by Joker thus Wade had to donate his blood to cure her. Since then, being as it was a merely short time, Harley had never felt better in her whole life and tonight had been a wonderful Christmas Eve even with all of this interruption of people wanting her Puddin alive for some reason. However it all had came crashing down when she saw the image of her ex-boyfriend's grin and a gun in his hand pointing right at her, so being as she is about to wake up Harley would believe that this was just a dream, one that she wish never end, and would go on continue with her life until a familier voice spoken to her.

"Harley? Ooohhhh Harllleeyyyyy!?" when Harley open her eyes there was a blurr of purple right infront of her view while she was on the floor, waving it's hand , till slowly her vision returns to see the shock and horror in display," Can you hear me, Harley?" Joker asked with a grin on his ill looking face. This cause her to quickly back away from her ex-boyfriend in fear of what the mix hair woman was seeing, looking behind the Clown Prince of Crime some of Deadpool's new thugs were waiting for her by the door with confuse looks on their faces.

"Hey uh..boss lady? You alright?" one of the thugs asked her, that is until his buddy punch his shoulder.

"Are you fucking dumb? She just fainted for no damn reason, we're lucky the boss isn't around to..." what ever the thug was about to say Harley's attention was broken with a fingers snap infront her face, looking over she saw it was Joker that snapped his finger.

"Oh don't mind them, haha they can't even see me anyways!" he said with a small laugh, then he would start pacing back an forth while speaking once more, "Now don't be surprise, you knew that this would bound to happen sooner or later. And quite frankly I wish it was sooner, already that foolish idiot that you called 'Puddin' has poison your mind. Well not anymore if I have anything to say about it, all the years of being together are now about to pay off Harley with me..inside..your..head!" The Joker said as he did his trademark laugh that Harley knew well over the years.

Harley herself would turn her shock face to a frown now, watching at the now hallucination of her ex-boyfriend laughing, as she got up to her feet and walked off towards the exit behind the thugs, ignoring them as she passed along as Harley intends to do what Wade had instructed and she wouldn't let anything distract her. Even if that means having to hearing the laughter of the decease illusion of the Clown Prince of Crime.

With Deadpool, back to the server room.

Once he had return to the Cell Block to make sure Harley was safe and sound Wade had return to what he was planning on doing, getting inside was simple by teleporting in. Now the Merc with the Mouth was sitting down indian style with the Dead-Pac out in his hand and was currently hacking into the systems, it was a three level hacking progress which each one was difficult, right now Wade was on the final level as he guided the Deadpool version Pac-Man through the maze while avoiding the security anti-virus 'ghosts' until he suddenly got an unsettle feeling that made him look up from the screen and looked towards the readers.

"Uh...does anyone got the feeling that something bad is gonna happen and we suddenly get pissed off?" Wade asked out to no one but him and his inner voices.

**"I would say 'No', but now I'm getting that feeling as well."**

**"It's like a bad storm is comming our way and we won't even know it!"**

"Well we'll deal with that later, just as soon as..." Deadpool was cut off when the alarms through out the whole GCPD building that went on full alart, looking down Wade realized that the hacking was still active but he ran out of time! "Fuck! God damn it Author, you cause me to get distracted over this bullshit!" Wade yelled out as he glare hatefully at the Author.

**"Of all the rotten timing, why can't we get good distraction like looking at boobs?!"**

**"So much for stealth, finish that hack and download as much intel as we could. No doubt we'll have company within seconds."**

Taking his smart inner voice advice, Wade would finish up the hack and download the intel he was searching on Black Mask. Just then he heard multiple footsteps echo from outside the room and getting louder meaning that it was close, thinking quickly the merc would dig into one of his suit pouches and pulled out a blowtorch in hand then hurry his way to the door leading in the hallway where the echoing footsteps came from and used it to seal it up, preventing from anyone entering.

**"Shouldn't you wear protective googles or something?"**

**"Why would we? It has such pretty colors!"**

"The least I could do is keep them from getting in, no thanks to the fuckign Author for distracting us!" Wade said as he sealed the door, going back to the Dead-Pac he would start finishing off with hacking dispite to already running out of time. During the process he heard that the cops were at the door trying to get in only to find that it was sealed shut.

"Door won't open, quick bust it down!" the sound of Cash's voice could be heard as the door would move upon the impact of some officers trying to bust it down. Looking through the hacking process Deadpool was now in and download had immediatly started as the banging sound became louder, taking a quick look of what little intel he had so far Wade discovered that Black Mask's mysterious unkown partner had appeared about several years ago but was never investigate due to lack of evidence of his or her existence. Wade would of looked up more but the sounds of the door cracking gotten his attention.

**"Crap, looks like that door won't hold for much longer."**

**"We need an escape plan, and that doesn't mean just the room we're in."**

_"Right, now if I was Batman what would I do?" _Wade thought as he looked around the room until he found another air vent on the side wall, just then the door was busted open as police officers armed with pistols and rifles in hand stormed in with Cash and Bullock along with them, the two cops looked around the sever room was empty.

"What the hell? I thought someone was in here?" Cash said outloud as he aimed his gun around to survey the room, just incase the intruder was still in the room.

"The alarm went off, someone was in the room hacking all of our stuff." Bullock replied to him, he too was confuse of finding the room empty.

"Damn it, you think those SWAT boys trip the alarm to send in a wild goose chase?" Aaron asked Harvey, being as knowing those SWAT guys were nothing but dirty cops causing trouble when Gorden wasn't around.

"More likely, Branden never did like Yin. But that don't explain why two of their boys were found dead in the bathroom, better check every room in the building." Harvey suggested as one by one each cop left the server room to look for the intruder. Once they were gone the room was quite, that is until one fo the computer screens fell off to reveal Deadpool inside, who was VERY cramp up inside just enough to fit when hiding from the cops.

"I think one of those wires is shove up my ass...ow." Wade said as he manage to get out from his hiding spot.

**"When you thought 'what Batman would do', that was exactlly the oppisite."**

**"No, we just done something better than Batman!"**

"Yeah, what the hell is the Author thinking? I'm ten times more better than that pointy ear guy, just like how I'm much better than Wolverine!" as Wade said this he recieved a beeping sound from a commlink, taking it out and pressing the button to answer Wade place it by his ear, "Yellow this is Deadpool speaking, don't say my name twice unless you be a hot chick!" Wade called out.

**"Really?"**

**"What? Every hot girl should."**

"Boss, we manage to clear out the stuff SWAT use and all loaded up to go." One of Deadpool's new henchmen had told him over on the other end.

**"Um...shouldn't Harley had told us that?"**

**"That is puzzling indeed."**

"Well that sounds great and all, my only concern is...why the fuck are you calling me?! Where's Harley?" Wade said feeling abit upset that it was not his sexy girlfriend that was talking to him, hearing the sound of her lovely voice always brings Wade's spirites up.

"Uh..Quinn is...not looking well. Not in a ill sick way mind you, it's just she seem..troubled however she did manage to get us the stuff we needed." the thug explained to his boss, which confuse Wade more as he had a bad feelign about this.

"Just get those supplies back to Arkham City an armed up to the teeth, I'll take care of Harley when I see her. However, if anything bad happens to her...I'LL PUT A BULLET IN EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOUR HEADS!" Wade yelled into the thugs ear, then his voice sounding angry as he would pant hard to catch his breath before continuing, " Now I don't suppose you know another way out of this station, do you?" Wade asked now all sounding calm with his voice.

"...Well I remember one of those SWAT assholes saying a police chopper on the roof ready to take off." the thug had said, although with the tone of his voice sounding fearful after hearing Deadpools threat.

"Thanks buddy! Click." Wade said as he cut off communication, hearing another beeping sound Deadpool saw the the download was complete on the Dead-Pac meaning that it was time to leave, "Alright the downloading is done, time to go get that helicopter and leave GCPD's to their surprise present!" Wade said outloud as he made his way to the exit out the server room and into the hallway.

**"Can't we just teleport there?"**

**"Well the Author said it would be too easy, so he want us to walk."**

**"Oh come on, that's just bullshit right there dude."**

**"Indeed, I do believe I saw a elevator that would lead us to the roof from the Bullpen room though."**

**"The one where we almost got caught within the meeting?"**

**"Exactly so."**

_"Well then it's a good thing that the room is currently empty though."_ Wade thought as he entered the large room and indeed it was empty. Though believing that would change in a second being as GCPD was on high alert with his presence, Wade would make his way to the elevator door and press the button until it opens then he would step inside just as the doors to the Bullpen room busted open with SWAT comming in the room, "Oh fuck! It's the dirty assholes in blue!" Deadpool shouted as he rappidly press the button to close.

"There he is! Open fire!" Howard Branden order as he and his squad start shooting their assault rifles at Deadpool, which the Merc with the Mouth would ignore the bullets flying right at him as he manage to flip the dirty cops off by holding up two middle fingers in each hand just as the doors closed, " Son of a fucking bitch! To the roof, go!" he ordered as he kick down the door that held the stairs up to the rooftop.

**"Boy does Braden look so old with all that grey in his hair!"**

**"It would appeared that years hadn't been kind to him."**

_"Yeah, maybe he should plan his own retirement."_ Wade thought as he waited till the elevator to stop at his destination which in a matter of seconds the ding sound comfirm he was there, however once the doors open it reveal Ellen Yin that was the one that greeted him. Looking surprise of who was in the elevator the woman reach for her gun but was too late when Deadpool grab and spun her around to pin her back to the wall and pin both her arms up above her head with one hand, " Ellen, what a surprise to see you again! Did you miss me babe?" Wade asked sounding happy to see her.

"Get your damn hands off me you bastard!" Yin told him with a hard glare in her eyes, not sounding too pleased with the Merc's presence, however Wade would ignore that demand as he lean his mask face forward to hers.

"Come on babe, where's your sense of the Christmas spirite? In fact..." Wade paused as he used his free hand to dig into one of his suit pockets till he pulled out a Mistletoe and held it above their heads, "..this is one of my favorite parts about the holiday with a hot woman. Pucker up!" Wade said as he made a lip shape on his mask, Yin though had a look of disgust on her face and responded with a swift yet hard kick to Deadpools balls. The results, white eyelids going wide and extreme pain running in his body, causing Deadpool to let go of the woman to take a step back and held his own groin with both of his hands, "...You gotta love the pissed off ones." Wade said, although his voice was alot lower to make him sound like a chipmunk.

**"Real smooth right there."**

**"Oh that's gonna hurt for awhile."**

Feeling satisfied that she gotten the mask merc off from her, Yin was about to arrest Deadpool had the sounds of rapid footsteps comming from the stairs caught her attention. Turning her head in time to see Branden and a couple of his SWAT men standing beside him pointing their weapons at Wade, " Branden, what the hell are you doing?!" Ellen asked as she gotten in between him and the suspect.

"Get outta the way Yin, I'm taking this bastard down!" Branden warned her, it was then that Deadpool would finally speak up once he found his voice back in the right tone.

"You know...he's just gonna shoot you anyways. I mean come on this is like a perfect setup, there's like five of us in here right now with me being a random hired merc and he having two guys from his unit that would back him up when he would lie to Gorden that I killed you in cold blood. So..."Deadpool pause a moment when he pulled out a gas mask all of a sudden and handed it to Yin, " ya might want to put this on!" Wade told her as he shoved the woman inside the elevator and closed the door before Ellen would protest.

"The fuck is he doing?" one fo the SWAT guys whisper his question to his boss, which Branden could only shrug his shoulders of not knowing until Deadpool would answer while holding up a detonator in hand.

"This my crooked friends, is what happens if you eaten a rotting taco out of a dumpster! Click and BOOM!" Wade said as he pressed the button, just then every sticky bomb he planted within the air vents went off in a booming sound that followed by a loud farting sound. Just then a brown like fog shoot out from the vents and into the room as Branden an his men started coughing violently by holding onto their throats with their hands then they all start going down the stairs to escape the 'death' air, Wade meanwhile would make a quick escape through the exit door and was outside in the cold snow.

"Ah fucking BBUUURRRRR! I forgot how fucking cold it is out here!" Wade complained out loud as he saw the helicopter on the landing pad then quickly teleported inside where is was much less cold, "Ok that's a little better, now to find Black Mask." Deadpool said as he started the engine up and took off in mid air.

**"HAHAHA! Did you see the looks on those assholes faces back there? They look like they were gonna die!"**

**"Ah, the old stink bomb present. Yeah that's gonna take them out for about a week to get the stench out."**

_"Atleast Ellen has that-"_ Wade was cut off when the helicopter he was flying suddenly shook and the alerms starting to go off, looking in the back Deadpool saw that the tail end was blown off and on fire, "Oh shit! We're going down! Mayday, sweet lords of chimichungas and boobies help me!" Wade cried out while in a failed attemped to steer the choopter that was going down and crashed onto a random roof top. Out in a far different on another roof was a lone figure that held a sniper rifle in both hands before lowering it down after shooting Deadpools flying vehicle from the sky.

"Heh, bullseye." Floyd Lawton, aka Deadshot, said to himself as he would make his way onto another rooftop where the marksman would get a clearing view onto the crash sight.

Meanwhile at the crash site, Deadpool had manage to crawl himself out from the flaming wreckage with parts of his suit being torn up, "Ugh fuck, what the hell just happen? Helicopter's tail things don't just blow up for no damn reason." Wade asked outloud as he started stretching and popping some bones that were out of place in his own body.

**"I think I've heard a gunshot sound being made over the roaring engine sound. If I have to guess, it would be Deadshot."**

**"What that Bullseye wanna be that ripped off our name?"**

_"Gotta be, but why do I have the strangest feeling that I want to kill him so badly?" _Wade asked in his thoughts as he felt a very urge of wanting to kill the marksman assassin so badly.

**"Yeah, what did ever do to get us SO pissed off?"**

**"I've haven't felt this much rage since the time we watch that movie the Author gave us."**

**"Which one?"**

**"Assault On Arkham."**

_"Nah can't be, only time that we gotten pissed off was..."_ Wade halted his mid thoughts as a certein scene came to his mind.

**"..."**

**"..."**

_"...HE HAD SLEPT WITH MY HARLEY!"_

**"HE NEEDS TO PAY FOR THIS!"**

**"KILL THE FUCKING BASTARD!"**

Chapter End

"FUCK!"/**"FUCK!"**/**"FUCK!"** Deadpool and his inner voices had yelled out.

**DDK out.**


	11. Chapter 11

**DDK does not own Deadpool or Batman**

"speaking"

_"thoughts"_

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the idiot side**

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the smart side**

Chapter 11: Deadpool's top medical advice!

With Harley

The shutter doors of the loading bay within the Steel Mill slowly opened as two or three SWAT trucks pulled inside, once they were the doors would closed shut to keep the cold air out. One of the passangers side door open and Harley hopped out before turning to the other thugs, ones that were carrying out 'borrowed' equipment that belonged to GCPD SWAT team after leaving the station.

"Alright dumbasses, make ya'self usefull and get geared up! Puddin wants you all to find the missing strippers for his party, and if he doesn't get them before Christmas morning well let's say the last guy that failed him got thrown in the boiler. An it wasn't a pretty sight let me tell you because I was the one that thrown him in there, why he didn't get the chance to scream when the hot steam hits!" Harley said as the thugs thought about it for a moment then they all visibly shiver in fright, once she saw that the newly henchmen were getting to work the mix haired woman would grab a duffle bag she had with her from the passanger seat and made her way up to the office room upstairs. Upon opening and closing the door once she's inside there was Joker sitting on Deadpool's chair.

"Oh ho Harley, who would of thought you would be like this? I mean when I was alive you would just stand back all silent and taking orders, and then here you are giving orders and making death threats." the mad clown would say, which Harley would ignore him as she walked over to a counter table that she would knock the items on top off then place her bag on it, even he was being ignored Joker would still continue just as he stood up from the chair, " I had no idea that you were this capable of taking charge, it's as if something was holding you back this whole time." Joker said as a grin like smile form on his face, however it soon faded when he saw that the woman was still ignoring him so he made his way over to see that Harley had a Jack-in a-box that she took out and was taking it apart, "You just gonna stand there and ignore me?!" Joker yelled in upset till suddenly Harkey sharply turn with a dynamite stick in her hand that she was pointing out to him.

"Listen here you jackass, your nothing more than a hallucination of my imagination. And even if you weren't I wouldn't give a damn, cause I would have stick this dynamite so far up ya ass and lite it up so that it would blow you up an out of here that I should've done a LONG time ago!" Harley told him as Joker would back away quickly an cover his ass with his own hands as if Harley was exactly going to do so, however he caught a slight glance of her blue eyes that had glowed green for a short second before turning back to blue and she turning back to her work in hand.

"...Hehehe, my my getting all fired up are we." Joker said this with a small purr in his voice, much to Harley's disgust as she kept working, before he continued, "All of this anger, commanding, and more that your giving off. It's such a turn on, I should've given this side of you a try when I was alive!" as he said this Joker started laughing and Harley would pause her work so that she could plug her ears with her fingers and shut her eyes closed in attempt to block off her dead ex's laughter.

It continue like this till the laughter died away then re-opening her eyes Harley saw that she was back alone in the office, that was until she heard a dog whine down beside her. Looking down the mix haired woman saw Mr. Shuggums looking up her, continue making whines as if worried about the womans distress, but Harley would only smile at the canine and petted his head with her hand before she would go back to work on her little project.

with Deadpool and his inner voices

At the moment we find our lovable Merc with the Mouth sitting around the crashed helicopter sight with a peice of paper in one hand while the other held a red crayon from a box of crayons set right next to him, Deadpool was busy drawing on the paper while he was thinking of ways of how to kill Deadshot when he meets him.

"Hmm can't pull off the same French Maid trick already used it on Lobo, not to mention too funny too. It's gotta be something that's a VERY painful death." Wade said outloud before setting the crayon he was using down to grab a different color one.

**"What about dropping him a boiler room back at the Steel Mill?"**

**"Can't the hot steam will kill him quicker before he hits the water. A instant painless death is not a option."**

"I wonder if we can use that fear gas shit that Crow guy use?" Wade suggested.

**"First of all, I believe his name is Scarecrow. Second, no way remember what that shit did back at the asylum?"**

**"Oh dude don't remind us."**

"Yeah, that shit was fucked up. Maybe we should try something out of a movie." as Wade said this he was done with his drawing, it was a cartoonish picture of Deadpool holding a katana in hand with the blade covered in blood and there next to him was a headless Deadshot with a fountain of blood spraying out like a open hydrat and Deadshots head was in mid air with a shock look expression on his face.

**"Oh now that's a work of art right there!"**

**"It looks similar to the drawing of our up comming movie."**

"Hell yeah, it's about fucking time they make a movie staring your's truely! Not like that other movie that involve Wolverine in it, seriously they cut out my appearance with short dialouge crap and make me not have a mouth in the end!" Wade yelled as he held up and waved a DVD case of _X-Men Origins: Wolverine _that he pulled out from one of his pockets before looking at it, "What a waste of money of making this film." Deadpool said before tossing it back without looking. Suddenly there was a squish like sound, a gunshot sound, and a person yelling in pain sound was made behind him as Wade turned aorund to find Deadshot on top another building, with the DVD corner struck into the expose eye socket while holding a sniper rifle in one hand while the other was used to yank the case out and use it to cover his damage eye to stop the bleeding.

"Ahh fuck my eye! I'll kill you for this you fucking peice of shit!" Floyd would scream out as he tried to fight through the pain, Deadpool would look at the marksman then looks over at the crashed helicopter that was still on fire, looking back and forth an idea pop into the Merc with the Mouth's head. Right before Deadshot knew it he felt someone shove his hand away from his injured eye and used his good one to look through the red lid of his mask to see Wade holding a short steel pipe with a bright orange color tip, "What the fuck are you- AHH AHHH AAHHHHHH!" Deadshot screamed when Deadpool shoved the orange tip into his injured eye that started burning.

"Don't worry, I've done this before! Well that was before I had a healing factor that is and way before I learn that I had cancer!" Wade yelled to get over the marksman screaming voice, using one hand to hold Floyd's neck to keep him steady while the other kept holding the pipe that he used to shove the buring tip into the damaged eye. Before his awesome life had began Wade remember a trick of burning his open wounds to seal them up, with results of random infections and being in pain for weeks but Wade lived an tell all about it. Deadpool spent the next long minutes, along with Deadshot's scream of pain, burning the injured eye till pulling the pipe away and saw the the wound was sealed up, "There ya go buddy, good as new!" Wade said as he patted Floyd's shoulder beofre he was rudely shoved away by said marksman.

"The fuck is wrong with you, my eye is fuckin damage you no good son of a..." Deadshot paused his sentence when he suddenly saw the barrel of Deadpool's pistol aiming right at his good eye,"...Oh fuck." was all that Floyd said until a loud 'BANG!' was made with a bullet going through the eye socket and exiting out from the back of his skull till his body just drop down on the snowy roof top.

"That was for sleeping with Harley, ya fucking bastard." Wade told the corpse as he fired a couple more rounds before putting his pistol away.

**"Ha! Take that you damn bastard!"**

**"Atleast we now know he won't appear in the Arkham Knight story, his weapons maybe but not him."**

_"Damn right, now that he's taken care of let's get back to on track."_ Wade thought as he pulled out the Dead-Pac and open the screen, on it he recieved alot of intel data of Black Mask criminal activities in Gotham but all of them seemed boring to the Merc so he would skip through all of it until he found what he was looking for, "Aha! Now we're getting somewhere, according to this Sionis been storing his dirty money into a old baknk that he once own being as couldn't trust any other banks in Gotham to keep his cash safe. And it is here that he's been using it to fund his partner for those secrete projects." Wade would explained while reading the intel on screen.

**"Now we can get things back on the right track, the sooner we finished this the sooner we can spend Christmas with Harley!"**

**"Where exactlly did Black Mask store all of his money? We could get there and find both at the same time"**

"Gotham Merchants Bank. According to this it's...within Arkham City?!" Wade yelled in surprise as he saw a hollow map of the city he was running at Mayor.

**"What?! You mean to tell me he's been sneaking money right under our nose?!"**

**"We'll have to make a note of double the 'police force' when this is over."**

"Right, and we better get over there now. If that black bone headed crime lord thinks he can put money within my city, then the least he can do is pay a fine for it...in cash!" Deadpool said as he had the dollar shape signs back over his eyes for a quick second before pressing the button on his belt to teleport his way there. Not long after his teleportation Wolverine had climb up onto the snowy roof top, which he had his claws out during the climb and ready to attack, then notice that the roof was empty save for the crash site and Deadshot's corpse.

_"Damn it! I smelled that idiot, I even heard that idiot, but still signs of that idiot...Hmm I wonder.."_ Logan thought to himself as he looked around, taking a deep breath he cried out, "Deadpool! I know your around here!" his yelling had caught the attention of said Merc with the Mouth as Wade suddenly re-appeared right next to him.

"Now who in the world would be calling..." Wade pause for a moment as he turn and looked at Wolverine and the mask merc suddenly got excited, "HHEEEeeyyy, oh it's you." Deadpool's sudden excitment quickly turn to annoyed while looking away from him, however it proved to be a mistake since Logan had grabbed him by the throat in one hand while the other had the three claws out and stuck it right infront of Wade's face in a threating way.

"Now that I've gotten your attention, maybe you can tell me of WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?" Logan yelled at Wade in anger, which said merc would look calm and collective even with a mask on.

"Would love to tell, but it's gonna have to wait until the next chapter!" Wade said as Logan gave off a 'WTF' look expression on his face.

"What the hell does that-" Wolverine sentence was cut off at the end of the chapter.

Chapter End

**"Ha! Suck it Wolverine!"**

**"Indeed!"**

Deadpool: "Atleast we now know that Deadshot won't appear int he next story...unless he comes back as a zombie dude or something"

**DDK out.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Authors Note.**

**DDK here and feel like I am so gonna get some heated hate after this chapter, especially a late int he new year but since everyone wanted another update well here it is.**

**DDK does not own Deadpool or Batman**

"speaking"

_"thoughts"_

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the idiot side**

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the smart side**

Chapter 12: The Who What Deadpool?!

**"Well it seem the Author has finally gotten this story going again."**

**"Yeah, we're lucky that he never forgotten about us!"**

**"And in the New Year too."**

**"Aww man that means we miss Christmas and everything! This stinks!"**

_"Actually I think its that aftershave stuff that ol Wolvie used, cause it stinks like wet dog."_ Deadpool thought.

**"Must be the cheap kind he used."**

**"Oh dude, those things are horrible."**

Back when we last saw our favorite masked mercenary, Deadpool was currently on the same roof he killed Deadshot reuniting with his old buddy slash enemy during back in Weapon X. The man in a yellow and blue costume was James Howlett a.k.a Logan a.k.a Wolverine, the mutant man where Wade got his kick ass healing facotr from who has metal like bones called Adamantium, which he recieve against his will during an experimant by a crazy ass scientist who erase Logans memories an thus cause the mutant to killed everyone to escape. Wolverines favorite weapons of all time are his three adamanti-metal-something claws, three of each coming from his two hands which right now he was using by digging the claws deep into Deadpools chest to keep him pinned to the wall as he interrigate the Merc with the Mouth.

"Logan buddy, how funny it is to meet you here of all places huh! By the way hows that clone of a daughter of yours? I think she just turn eighteen am I rig-ACCKKK!" Wade was cut off when Logan used his free hand to thrust his extra claws deep into the merc's throat, right into the voice box where Deadpool was making noise like he was drowning in water.

"Listen here bub, you don't ever talk about Laura again nor go even ten feet near her. Got it?!" Wolverine said in a protective tone manner, what he got in response was Deadpool raising a thumb up stating that he got the message before removing the claws from his thorat that spray out blood a little, "Now that we got this out of the way, ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!" the yellow costumed man shouted.

"You'll have to be more detail than that buddy." Wade said once he felt himself healing up, which still being impaled by Wolviee's claws,_"An not in the good pleasent way, I'll tell ya that. Also I think I felt my heart just stop now."_ Wade thought.

**"I believe those claws of his are right in the heart area."**

**"Boy is that a pain in the ass."**

"Hey speaking of questions, how'd you ended up here Wolviee? I thought Cable or maybe Dr. Strange were only able to travel through stuff...and who else that can that I suddendly can't remember other names." Wade said as he could pictures other travelers and yet can not name a single one he could easily remember, Deadpool was suddenly brought out of his thoughts when Wolverine would yank him away from the wall and roughly thrown on the snow covered roof to which the three holes on his chest would quickly heal on it's own once the claws were removed in the process.

"I'm here...because of you...you damn idiot! If you hadn't been messing around with Stark stuff we would never be in this mess!" Logan yelled at him as he was starting to lose his temper because of the mask merc, Deadpool meanwhile was head first stuck in snow while laying on the ground till he pop up into a sitting position with a make shift snow around his head to look like Santa.

"Hmm...now that is interesting, cause with all the fun that I've been having I nearly forgotten on how I came here in the first place. So how did I-hey what the hell is that?!" Wade shouted when he notice something falling out from the night sky above them.

**"Is that a bird?!"**

**"Perhaps a plane?"**

"Oh don't get me started, I'm not falling for...the hell is that?" Logan stated his question when he notice a shadow on the ground and looked up to where Deadpool looked, just in time to see a shadow form of a giant black bat that just dropped from the sky, landed right in the open center between the two an created a shockwave pulse that knocked the two away. Wolverine was thrown back an hit the brick wall that was behind him and Deadpool was knocked back into the snow, only for a second it took for him to come out with a new snow shift look of Frosty the Snowman's hat and smokepipe on the side of his mask mouth to look at the rising figure that was familier to him.

"Hey Bats! Going for abit of old school tonight as a come back to fighting crime night aren't ya?" Deadpool said as he took note of Batman wearing the _Arkham Origins_ suit he wore years ago.

**"I wouldn't actually say it's 'old school' with that look."**

**"Ah come one, of course it is! It's called **_**Origins**_** for a reason!"**

**"No it doesn't!"**

**"Yes it does!"**

_"Alright stop! You two can bitch about this one later, right now we need to go!" _Wade thought as he jump up to his feet, then quickly dust off the snow from his body before adressing to his two almost identical dressing pals, "Look guys, I'd love to stick around and introduce you to each other. But right now I've got places to be, some shadowy organization to kill, and a hot ass girlfriend to bed with!" Deadpool stated as he teleported away an to his next destination just as Wolverine would shook his head after the impact on the wall.

"Oh no, you're not getting away from me!" Logan stated, but just as he was about to jump off the roof and re-track Deadpools scent with his smelling abilities a gun-like shot was made as he turn his head in time to see a grapple hook grab onto his shoulder and yank him back, the cable of the grappling hook was trace back to Batman who put his gadget away.

"Your not going awaywhere. I'm taking you in now, weither you come quitely or not." the Dark Knight claimed as he cationly approuched the down mutant that was on one knee, "I'm asking nicely." Batman added in a tone that doesn't make him sounded nice. Wolverine meanwhile was just panting abit to steady his breathing and clentching both of his fist.

"Bub...you should know, I don't do 'nice' " Logan said before both of his metal claws sprang out from his hands and made a loud growl when he lunged at Gotham's Dark Knight.

with Harley and new crew

Within the hideout of the Steel Mill that was Deadpool's HQ, the newly gang members were all dressed up in Swat uniform's that were flying in Deadpool colors of red and black, one group was handing out firearm weapons, another group were re-arranging the Swat trucks they came in into better armored vehicles, then there was another group that was over looking a large map of Gotham, and the last group that were being lazy were just chatting around. All of this going on while Harley herself carrying the duffle bag she brought in from her and Deadpool's office/bedroom upstairs. When she arrived she notice that Joker, while still a hallucination to her mind only and that no one can see him but her, was standing on top of the large map an was looking down at it himself.

"You know, I think we should raid Ace Chemicals first. Kill a bunch of folks and take a few hostages, then we can use the entire plant as a make shift bomb to fill Gotham's streets with Happy Gas! It be one hell of a Christmas present, now that I think about it...why haven't I done that in the first place after all these years?!" The Clown Prince of Crime exclaimed in complaint and was seeming to be pulling his green hair in fustration, to which Harley would ignore him as she went around the truck only to see that Joker was leaning against next to it, "Seriously, all those years after making that gas and using it on people to make them laugh the thought never came to mind!" he said to her an Harley had a annoyed look on her face when ever he popped up but still continue her way till she went the railing on top a platform where she could see everyone.

"Alright dumbasses, shut your traps and pay attention!" she called out making every thug in the area stop to what they were doing and turn to her, Joker though was seated on top the roof of the armor trucks to which Harley continues to ignore, once she believed everyones attention were on her that she proceeded, "As you know, Mr. Deadpool has given some of you instructions of finding his missing 'guests' for his Christmas party due to a bunch of dumbass of party poopers that enjoys crashing uninvited parties. So here's how we're gonna do this: Once you finished fixing those trucks up I want five of each armed men in each vehicle to drive around the city to find them, and those who get behind will stay and guard the Steel Mill till my puddin comes back!" as Harley said this Joker would throw a complaint in the background.

"Oh come on, boo! First time of being in charge and your doing it all wrong, instead of going out in a cold city searching for lost strippers they should be doing something chaotic! Like robbing close banks, planting remote bombs, pushing old ladies off bridges! Anything than a search an rescue mission!" the clown prince said though no one but Harley would hear him anyways.

"And while your out searching the missing girls let me tell you this, earlier tonight we had ourselves a little traitor that happens to had knock me out cold during Bane's attack. My puddin would feel mighty generous if you bring him back here alive, though unlike the girls he doesn't need to come back without a scratch or bruise but just don't kill him...yet! Any questions?" she asked while looking over the Deadpool thug's till one of them raised his hand up till she pointed at him to go ahead.

"Yeah, who the sorry son of a bitch that got on the boss shit list?" the thug asked while Joker had suddenly walked beside him till he was leaning against.

"Indeed there Harl, whose the sorry boy that that has gotten on your bad side?" he asked with a big smile grin on his face.

For once Harley had actually smiled, and not in a friendly kind but one that showed just how crazy the woman looked with it, and being at abit of a far distance away from the crowd none of the thugs had notice that her pretty blue eyes that suddenly turn green, " He goes by many kinds of names to hide his work as a arms dealer, especially when providing Deadpool all kinds of weapons, but many of you know him as Loose Lips." she told them.

with Deadpool

Withing the Gothams Mechants Bank building that was in Arkham City, Deadpool had suddenly appeared from his teleportation after his brief encounter with both Wolverine and Batman whom the mask merc is certainly guessing is fighting somewhere in Gotham.

**"Couldn't we just stay back for a little while? I wanna see who kicks ass of who."**

**"That would of taken a while for the Author to write up."**

"Yea, and those two would've taken up the whole story, this is about me an not those two chumps. Besides we can let those nerds from that show _'Death Battle'_ come up with it, it's bound to happen sometime." Wade said as he looked around the lobby of the bank to notice that it was empty and dark with the only light being moonlight from the windows.

**"Oh I loved that show! It's got all kinds of battles and many ways of people dying!"**

**"What I enjoy is stating the facts of which character would bested against another foe."**

**"Neeerrrrddddd!"**

**"I AM NOT!"**

"Hey! What did I just say about earlier, you two can bitch about it later till 'AFTER' we find Black Mask an his partner then get back to celebrating Christmas with Harley!" Wade shouted and then his two inner voices had gone quite after while Wade would start looking around before taking out the Dead-Pac to study the map on the screen. Following the map Deadpool came upon a sealed off door, taking a look at the map then staring at the door back an forth gotten him thinking, _"Hmm, according to this the money trail leads me through this door but it looks lock...time for 'worst spy movie plan B'! "_ Wade thought as he taken out a pack of C-4 explosives.

**"Where did you get-"**

**"No, don't ask!"**

**"Why not?"**

**"Cause you 'know'."**

**"...Oh right."**

Once the explosive was all attatched and set onto the door Deadpool would step back in a far distance away, pull out a detonator in his hand, then pressed the big red button with his thumb...then nothing happened. Looking at the bomb and the device in hand Wade glared at it as he pressed the button once again, the same results was nothing that happened as the merc continue to press the button while walking forward to the C-4 to see what was wrong with it, however when he was close within the blasting range and pressed it again this time the bomb went off in his face. Being under the pile of what was left of the door Deadpool would emerge and glare at the Author.

"Jackass..." Wade mumble as he got out of the pile till he heard guns clicking infront of him, looking forward ahead Wade notice a few mobster henchmen pointing their rifle guns at him, all of which wearing cheap black skullface masks, and behind them was a open bank vault with golden light that shine so bright that was hard to see inside.

**"Ooohhh so shiney!"**

**"That has to be a whole lot of gold to be this bright!"**

And walking out of the vault was the man that Wade was looking for, unlike the thugs that were wearing black suits this one wore white, with the exception of black covered glove hands with one of them holding a handgun, and a black headed skull for a head. Indeed this man was Roman Sionis, the criminal kingpin crime boss of Gothams Underworld known as Black Mask that was right into Deadpools view of blocking the bright light.

"So...think you can just waltz into my bank huh?" Roman asked being calm an all just as Deadpool would dust himself off abit before answering him.

"Well being as it's in Arkham City, and that I'm the 'Mayor' of it after all, yeah I can waltz in anytime I like. And speaking of which your late on your payment on city tax and all that other shit so I'm here to collect the pay personally, but first ya gonna tell me about this mysterious partner of yours first!" Wade explained as the hentchmen would look at each other in thinking what he was talking about, until they were shot in the back dead by Black Mask pistol which steam came out from the barrel, "...Wow, you are one cold ass motherfucker. Anyone ever tell you that?" Wade asked which Roman could only chuckle at that.

"I've been called worst...and frankly I don't give a shit about it. So from my point of view, you wanted to know why my partner put up the bounty on your head." Black Mask said to Wade.

"And to collect that reward for myself, and the other fact of wondering why it has something to do with the Titan Venom. But yep, that's what I and so many others wanted to know why." Wade started as he began walking towards the crimelord, however two steps later he froze in mid step when suddenly a long blade of a sword was suddenly pressed against his neck, using his eyes to move he saw who was holding it.

"You know, I would of collect it myself if I wasn't being paid upfront already." Deathstroke told Deadpool as he pressed the blade farther into the neck that would of cut the head clean off if Wade hadn't jump back away then look between the two.

"Slade...Oh come on, Roman buddy is this the best you can do? Your partner happens to be my brother-from another mother-in a different world?!" Wade complained.

**"That doesn't make any sense!"**

**"What could Mr. Money-Skull want with our alter look-alike?!"**

However to both Deadpool and his inner voices surprise, Black Mask just laugh even if it was not a full blown comedy laugh and is a low one but a laugh noneless. That was when suddenly Wade heard the doors bursted open and running footsteps being made, when he turned around he notice armed men dressed like the soldiers that was strongly ripped off from the troopers of _Killzone_ that surround him with assualt rifles at Wade, however the difference between those guys and these guys were the emblems on each shoulder. One that seem very familer symbol to Wade that he had not seen since back home in the Marvel universe,_ "Where have I seen that skull with eight tentacles before?" _ he thought to himself till he heard Sionis spoken once more.

"I didn't exactlly said it's Deathstroke now, didn't I?" Black Mask asked until another new voice spoken up.

"Indeed Mr. Sionis, after all..." Wade looked behind Roman to see a figure walking out from the glowing vault, one that caused the lids of Wade's mask to go wide like eye-widen of who it was, " Hydra does vaule useful talents for our cause." Johann Schmidt, also known as The Red Skull, had stated.

Chapter End

**"WHAT?!"**

**"HOW DID HE GET HERE?!"**

"SOMEONE FLIP A FUCKING TABLE NOW!" Wade screamed.

**Till next time, DDK Out.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Authors Note**

**DDK: Hello folk and here's another chapter of Deadpools adventure and be sure to vote ont he Poll on my profile for the next story. Also I like to point out that Deadpool the moive was freaking awesome!**

Deadpool: "Fuck yeah it was! Hey I've been meaning to ask, when this story gonna end so we can get to the next one? It all looks so much fun!"

**DDK: Well then Wade since you asked, given that I'm trying to update stories by a month, along with the poll results, and alot of brainstorming along with ignoring or fixing errors, I say the next story might come out...early 2017.**

Deadpool: "Oh well that's not so ba- 2017?!"

**DDK: Enjoy the chapter folks!**

**DDK does not own Deadpool or Batman**

"speaking"

_"thoughts"_

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the idiot side**

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the smart side**

Chapter 13: Anyone have a Deadpool mint?

**"What the fuck kind of chapter title is that?"**

**"Stay quite and we might find out."**

**"But I wanna know!"**

**"You will if you stay put!"**

_"Can we get back to this story please?!" _Wade thought to his inner voices.

**"Oh alright."**

**"Indeed lets."**

Wade Winston Wilson was many things, a Mercenary, Sex-Machine, Bad-Ass, and so many awesome things. But through out of his career from outside and inside jobs he had some issue's on some of the things that even he couldn't understand, such as how one of Marvel's evil super villians had ended up in the DC universe along with Deadpool, and to the fact that he was working with another villian that was a almost look alike. The only difference between these two bone-headed villians were the color of their heads and to the fact they both different motives, one wanted to rule the world and the other rule the criminal underwolrd.

_"How the hell does that make any difference? They both are bone-heads anyways." _Wade had thought to himself.

**"I'm still trying to figure out how one of them has Hydra soldiers with him."**

**"And the looks that was ripped off from that game too!"**

_"Hang on a second, I beileve we're about to have a flashback moment!" _ Wade yelled in his thoughts as he try to remember something.

_**Flashback: Marvel Universe, about five minutes before the events of 'Deadpool goes to Arkham'**_

Stark Industries was under attack by Hydra forces during a expo event of Tony Starks latest inventions, one of which was a proto-type of a alternate dimention device that would travel to other wolrds. However it was interrupted when the Red Skull appeared and had followers of Hydra that came for the device for their own use, so while Agent's of Shield and members of the Avengers were battling the soldiers and large robots the size of Hulkbuster bots Johann Schmidt was by the controls of the device that was in the shape fo a large ring and was just activating it.

"With this machine I shall created a strong army that will wipe my enemies from existence, and rule not only one but all Universes!" as Schmidt would said this Wolverine had ran in, after dealing with a fight with Crossbones that got in the way and saw what Schmidt was doing, decided to interfered with him after listening in.

"Not a chance bub! You'll..." before Logan could finished he was suddenly interrupted when Deadpool suddenly appeared right in between the two so suddenly they had to back away in surprise.

"Hey everybody, it's me Deadpool! Now I know this is a possible bad timing, like all of you are in the middle of fighting each other to the death like the ol good vs evil thing, but can someone point me to where I can find the nearest-Oh look! A big shiney red button for me to press!" Wade said as he was distracted by the flashing red button on the control panal of the dimention machine that looked like a giant metal donut to the merc.

"No you fool!" Red Skull screamed in panic.

"Deadpool don't do it!" Wolverine too yelled at him.

"Click!" Deadpool cheerfully yelled when he pressed the button. The results was a big shining vortex that came out of the metal ring and absorbed all three men into the light before it died down and the machine went into failure as it expoded after being used.

_**Flashback end.**_

_"Oh so that's how I ended up in the DC world! I nearly forgotten how anyways, or atleast the long story turn short side." _Wade thought to himself.

**"So wait, how come he wasn't with us in the first story?"**

**"Good question, I would of said the same thing with Wolverine. Unless..."**

_"That machine of Stark's might of sent us to different time lines. Let's review this, if we were pushed into the Arkham Asylum..."_

**"And Wolverine was pushed to when Arkham City happens, then that means..."**

**"Red Skull was in the Arkham Origins! That's like years before we arrived!"**

**"Given the amount of Hydra men and weapons I say he had plenty of time to prepare this in secrete."**

"Ugh this time travel dimension talk is starting to make my head hurt. Cable handle this better than I can." Deadpool would say while holding his head with his hand, just then he heard the clicking sounds of guns behind him that Wade would turn and see the Hydra troopers were still behind him along with Deathstroke still being close with point sword range till Deadpool would turn to the Red Skull, "So I take it that it was YOU that gave Deathstroke that nano-shit back in Arkham City AND was the one who had set up the bounty on my head!" he declared while pointed an accused finger at the red bone-headed man.

"Although part of it is the truth, yes indeed I was the one who gave the nano-bots to Deathstroke. One of latest weapons to natrualized to those who have self healing abilities such as Wolverine and yourself, unfortunatly though...you succeeded into getting rid of all of them." Schmidt said as he walked away from the vault that he and Roman were standing infront of then slowly starts walking left and right infront of Deadpool as he continue talking, " So I won't attempt to create something that would fail twice and addapted, which brings me to my next experiment...one that is required of your blood Mr. Wilson" Johann said until Wade would quickly interrupt him.

"Yeah speaking of which, hold on a sec will ya. Roman, my man, how did one of the world's most top kingpin in the Criminal Underworld get mix up with the worlds most hated terrorist of all time?...Even if you both are not from the same world, I should know I'm not from this world either!" Wade had explained while making a short laugh when he saw the way Red Skull's face made when he was angry for the rude interruption till Black Mask took the stage of speaking.

"What can I say? I'm a bussiness man, if it gets me something that I want what no one else have then I take it. Besides, you being here..." Sionis paused so that he could aim his gun right at Deadpool which made Deathstroke to lower his sword away from the red-suited merc, "..have just save me alot of money from going to waste. I say that's good for bussiness." Black Mask added as Deadpool place a hand under his chin in thought.

"Hmm, you know you make abit of a good point. Let me just-GRENADE!" Wade cried out when he suddenly grab and knee gutted Slade before taking one of his grenades off, made sure to pulled the pin out, then threw it on the ground by his feet then pushed his fingers into his ears through his mask. Everyone, including Deathstroke, Black Mask, and Red Skull, had quickly reacted by jumping back away before the grenade went off with Deadpool still within range, thus the explosion had sent him flying straight up and break through the ceiling with a Deadpool shape hole being made. With the small smoke being now cleared up everyone was coughing abit to catch their breath until Black Mask notice that Deadpool was now gone.

"Damn it, he escaped!" Roman yelled as he was dusting off his now ruinted white suit, Slade had just gotten up and rolled his shoulders until his single eye caught something when he looked at him.

"That's not all that he's done." the orange an black theme merc spoke while pointing not only at Sionis back but Schmidt's as well. Both skulled headed men turned around to notice writings on their backs, with Black Mask's writing being in black markings because of his white suit and Red Skull's being in white for his black trench coat that he wore. What it said was...

_**I'm with a Bone-Headed Loser on Christmas!**_

And underneath it showed an arrow sign that was pointed towards each other.

"What the fuck?! When the hell did that idiot do this shit?!" Roman yelled out, not only in disbelief but in rage. The suit he was wearing was expensive and wasn't cheap to get cleaned.

"It matters not! He may have gotten away, for now, but there is time left before dawn." Johann said as he directed orders to his men to the vault so they could carry on with the task that Black Mask men were doing before they were shot.

"I'm serious, the stains will never fucking come off!" Black Mask complained as Deathstroke made a silent sigh to himself.

with Deadpool and company

We find our fearless hero somewhere within the sewers of Arkham City, after being blown up into the sky to escape the bone-headed villans he ended crash landing into the cold waters of the river outside a mile from his Steel Mill Hideout. To which Wade swam through the freezing waters and was now currently huddle himself into a ball form position as his red suit turned blue an was shaking violently with chattering teeth like sounds being made.

"Fukfukfukfukfukfukfukfukfukfukfuk! I think I got frostbite...EVERYWHERE!" Wade yelled while still making chattering teeth sounds.

**"What we need to warm up is a big fire place, a hot cup of coco, and a big set of pillowy breasts to smoother ourselves in! Speciffically Harley's!"**

**"That would be nice, but I still don't understand why you have put that chattering teeth in your mouth."**

To see his point Wade had push his mask up and pull out a chatter teeth toy out of his mouth as it was still going on by opening and closing at a rapid pace," Meh ya right, don't know why I bother." Wade said as he toss the toy away while his costumes color return back to normal as he stood back onto his feet, "So back to the matter at hand, we found out who it was that Roman was working with. Question now is...HOW THE FUCK WE DIDN'T SEE THAT COMMING?!" Deadpool yelled out.

**"No one ever asked?"**

**"Is that your answer for everything?"**

**"Are we now answering questions with...questions?"**

**"How is that an answer?!"**

**"You tell me!"**

"Alright enough! Clearly this would all be better if we just get rid of the red headed bone guy, now all we need to due is-" before Wade could continue the sewer wall behind him exploded when something crashed through it, "AH SON OF A BITCH!" he yelled in surprise.

**"SON OF A BITCH!"**

**"SON OF A BITCH!"**

"SON OF A BITC-oh wait I already said that first." Deadpool caught himself when he realised what he said already, looking as the dust cleared up he saw a familier seven foot tall reptile man standing before him," Oh hey look, it's Croc-ky! You look different somehow...lost some weight?" Wade asked Killer Croc, indeed Waylon Jones looked to be abit different from last time that Wade saw him as the Merc with the Mouth noted of the scale like spikes growing over the left shoulder, the muscles were looking to be bigger than before, and..

**"Wait...is that a tail growing behind him?"**

**"I think the Author's picturing him in a pre-evolve form before his messed up look in A.K."**

**"A.K?"**

**"Yea you know, Arkham Knight."**

**"Hmm...you might be right on that."**

_"Hey we're not in that story just yet! Let's focus on the now."_ Deadpool thought before turning his attention to the over size lizard man, "Croc buddy,I gotta say you were ugly before but this is worse! How the hell you get into this sorry ass state?" Wade questioned although instead of answering Jones would only roar right infront of his face with saliva flying out and hitting his mask face, "Uh EEWW, your breath still reeks! Here take this!" Deadpool said as he took out a spray can and shove it into Croc's mouth. Which in turn the large reptile man would step back and held his throat an making choking sounds trying to gasp for air while stumbling back until he fell into the cold sewer waters with bubbles floating up to the surface.

"Sorry man, I'm still out of the pepper mint flavor and all I had left was the pepper spray that I gave ya!" Deadpool yelled at the water of where Killer Croc fell, hoping that he be able to hear him from under water, but nothing happened as he saw the bubbles stopped floating to the surface, "...I don't think he's getting up." he said outloud.

**"You think he's dead?"**

**"Well he is one of the people after the bounty."**

_"Shit! I just realised something...We didn't asked what Red Skull needed my blood for!"_Wade thought.

**"Yeah we forgot!"**

**"Not to mention involing Titan Venom!"**

_"Fuck I forgot bout that too! Now we have to go back to that damn bank!"_ Wade added as he started walking away from the waters and down the sewer tunnel that he hope would lead to an exit, however before he could go any farther a sudden loud splash like sound was made behind him that he froze up suddenly, "...Uh does anyone get this uncomfortable feeling just now?" he asked.

**"...Yep."**

**"...Yes."**

"Ok, just making sure it's not only me." Wade said as heard sounds of spit, clang, and rolling as he looked down to see the crushed peper spray can rolled out from behind him, looking back Deadpool could see a large wet scaled Waylon Jones glaring reptilian eyes at him and what appeared to be a pissed off expressional face before making another loud roar and not wasting a second Deadpool starts spirting down the tunnel with a very angry crocodile man right on his tail.

**"NOT DEAD! NOT DEAD AT ALL!"**

Chapter end.

**Author Note**

**Welp looks like Wade got himself into another shit pile mess he's fallen into, tune in next time to see how he'll get out of this crocodile shit-pit. Anyways next chapter I'll get back to Harley on how she's deal with her 'clown' problem, I might have an idea on how.**

**DDK out.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Authors Note**

**DDK: "Sorry for the long wait everyone, had lost connection for a whole month but now I'm back on track with hopes to atleast making up on updates."**

Wade: "Yea right, you were possibly just lazy to update my stories by playing that Doom game."

**DDK: "Shut it Wade!"**

**DDK does not own Deadpool or Batman**

"speaking"

_"thoughts"_

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the idiot side**

**"Deadpools inner thoughts" the smart side**

Chapter 14: Is there a chill in here?

Harley was back inside of the office/apartment home to refill Mr. Shuggums bowl with dog food and fresh water to ensure he was fed before leaving, while the rest of the boys earlier were out in the city looking for the missing strippers and bringing in Ricky to her. At that moment Joker was there with the said dog sitting down and the clown man patting it's canine head.

"You know...I kinda miss those drooling hyena's we used to own. I wonder if Penguin still have their stuff carcass in that museum of his, they sure wouldn't be laughing now that their 'stuffed' am I right pochie?" Joker said to Shuggums only to suddenly yank his hand away when the dog made an attempt to bite his hand off, "Whoa easy there ol Yeller...hang on abit. How in the world did he knew I was here? I'm practically invisible to everyone else!" he said in confusion until Harley turn and smiled as she walked over to Mr. Shuggums and starts petting his head loving.

"That's because he's a special kind, aren't you sweety?" Harley questioned while sweet talking the canine, whom was panting and tail wagging from being petted by her.

Suddenly there was a loud noise comming from down stairs that had the door slamming open and closing followed by construction sounds, moving over to the window Harley could see Deadpool at the front entrance of the Steel Mill, which the front door was barricad covered by wooden boards, steel chains and locks, barbed wires, and a rusted old car pushed up against the door. All in all the Merc with the Mouth looked to be trying to keep something out and was currently planting mines an flaming bear-traps infront of the door until Harley herself would step out of the office and stood on the walkway to look down at her boyfriend.

"Wade honey? You alright down there?" Harley asked from above to where the merc was standing, with his back pressed up against the barricaded door after setting the traps up, as well as ignoring the pain on his back from the barbed wires.

"Oh nothing to woryy bout darling! It's not like I'm running away from a angry seven foot crocodile man or anything, nothing to worry bout at all but just incase you might wanna bring out a some heavy guns with you!" Wade called out to answer her before a loud banging sound could be made right behind him.

"Huh, now who could be knocking at this hour of the night? I'm certain ol Saint Nicholous don't go through doors." Joker said while appearing right beside Harley, however suddenly bullets started flying his way causing the clown prince to stumble back yelling in fright as well as Harley did when she saw Wade holding his pistol in hand.

"Sorry babe, I just had the strangest feeling to shoot something there. Like my asshole sense was tingling or what ever the fuck old Web-head calls it when danger is around." as Deadpool said this the barricaded doors exploded to peices when Killer Croc came through and lets out a loud roar within the loading bay, however there were some loud beeping noises as Croc would look down to see the mines and bear traps before turning to glare at Wade.

_**"I really hate you." **_was Croc's only words before the mines went off in a great explosion that sent the giant crocodile man sailing in the darks skies screaming with flaming bear-traps on his ass and tail before disappearing from sight as Wade would look out through the destroyed door.

"By the way Jones! You owe me a new fucking door, have a nice flight!" Deadpool called out into the night sky before teleporting himself to right next to Harley Quinn, "Well that was a short appearance for ol Croc-ky, but hey look on the bright side. That's four assassins down and only four more to go!" Deadpool said in triumph until the illusion and invisible like Joker made a snot sound.

"Oh please, that was nothing compared when Batman threw one of his bat-thingies at that large gas tank Croc held over his head years ago." as the clown prince said this he screamed once more when Deadpool started shooting bullets from his pistols in the clowns direction.

"There was that asshole feeling yet again, what in the hell is going on around here? Is this fucking place carrying a ghost or somethin?" Wade would question out loudly until another thought hit him, "Hang on a sec...where the fuck did my Inner Voices go?" the mask merc questioned again from the lack of any feedback he usually got from his voices within Deadpools head.

"What's he blabbering bout?" Joker's question was towards Harley, who was prepared this time to duck on reflaxes when the bullets flew his way as if afraid that they would REALLY hit him. Harley herself would poking her two index fingers together as she bit her bottom lip from being nervious before talking to her boyfriend.

"Um...Puddin?" she saw that Wade's attention was on her now, and not on the attention on Joker who was flipping the Merc with the Mouth off only to stopped when Wade fired his gun at him without taking his white eye lins off from his hot girlfriend, " You are not off track on the ghost part...turns out I'm currently being haunted by the spirit of the dead asshole of my ex-boyfriend." she explained as Deadpool stared at her then his eye lins move to blinking until he spoken.

"Oohhh, so that's why I felt like shooting at something. Ok that makes alot of sense there." Wade said as Harley, and Joker, would look at strangely that the mask man was taking this rather calmly.

"Really?" both asked at the same time, though Joker had to duck again when Wade shot his pistol his way.

"Yeah really, I've dealt with a bunch of weird shit in the past. That and your eyes are glowing green like that clown asshole." Wade stated as Harley lets out a gasp then takes out a hand-mirror she used for applying make up. Staring right into her own reflection Harley's once pretty baby-blue eyes were glowing green, at this Harley screamed in terror and threw the mirror away in which ended up somehow hitting Joker's head and knocking him over the railings an crashing down below.

"Well...this is turning out to be a freaky Christmas night...so have you founded Black Mask?" Harley asked wanting to change the subject for now. She'll deal with the Clown Prince of Crime later.

"Well babe, turns out that I indeed found him. But! Not only does he have Deathstroke on a payroll but he has teamed up with the Red Skull!" Wade said as Harley would blink at him, as well as Joker now joining back with the couple soon enough.

"The who?" she asked him.

"Red Skull, he's another person who has a skull for a head but red." Wade told her while he had a sketch book in hand as well as a few color crayrons that he was using to draw before turning it over and showed a cartoonish version of Red Skull and his Hydra soldiers, "He's a supervillian from my world, that's the Marvel Universe by the way, who is currently the leader of a group of Nazi-like terrorist group called Hydra at the moment and is the reason why he and Roman hired the assassins to get me." Wade explained to her to which, unknowing to Deadpool cause he can't see or hear him, Joker would make a snot like sound.

"Nazi terrorist group? Please, even evil has standards." was the clowns words before he screamed and fallen back over the railings...again when this time Harley grabbed Wade's pistol and shot a few rounds his way.

"Wow...now that I didn't expect honey. So did you find out why he wanted you or the Titan Venom?" her question made Wade's mask face drop a little at being reminded.

"No, but so far that's four out of the eight hired assassins down and only four more to go! And then once they are dealt with I'll go straight to charging into a Hydra hidden base and confront ol Skull face of why in the world he wants that shit." Wade explain to his plan of what he will plan on doing. That is until he suddenly felt a chill in the air that made him shiver visibly, "Uh babe? Besides the obvious blast open door, did we leave like dozens of windows open or is Mr. Freeze suddenly here as a surprised guest that I didn't know about?" Wade asked her while Harley herself was shivering and rubbing her bare arms to keep herself warm.

"N..no Puddin, all the windows are shut closeed,and last I heard was that Victor got himself a ship he is using to sail out in the ocean. Possibly taking in the peace and quite where he could focus more on helping his wife Nora." Harley answered him before noticing that the metal on the walk-way they were standing on was slowly being covered in ice.

All of a sudden the ice turn walk-way broke and the couple fallen down, lucky enough Wade would pull Harley close so that he could land first and being her soft landing. For the most part Deadpool felt extreme pain on his back from the rough landing, on the good part though he got the feeling of Harley's soft bossom pressing firmly against his chest and his hands on her sweet ass. When both couple recovered however they notice a third person with them, which happens to be...

"Frosty!" Harley exclaimed when she saw her old Suicide Squad teammate standing before them with her icy hand onto the railings.

"Damn it Harley, how many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that?!" Louise Lincoln, aka Killer Frost, told the mix haird woman that was on top of Deadpool who at that time looked at the readers.

"For those of you who wanted to know, just think of Jennifer Hale voice for this one." he told the readers.

**"Yea! She's got a hot voice in our view!"**

**"Not as hot as Terra Strong mind you."**

_"The fuck?! Where did you two schmucks went when I needed ya?!"_ Wade yelled in his head towards his now reappeared inner voices.

**"Uncertain, right at the beginning we were somehow block by something."**

**"Like...trying to get the last chimichanga but being blocked off by a invisible force field!"**

"That kinda makes sense there." Wade spoken out loud, enough for Killer Frost to look at him in confusion before turning to Harley.

"The hell is he talking about?" she asked but Harley just waved her off.

"Eh just his usual sexy self. So then Frosty you looking good as ever, what's the occasion of stoping by?" as Harley would asked she saw her old friend frown at her.

"You know why I'm here Harl, I'm..." before Lousie would finished she was cut off by Deadpool.

"AH GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!" he screamed out in anger as both women would looked at him.

"What is it puddin?" Harley asked her boyfriend with concern on her face.

"It's the end of the damn chapter is what!" Wade told her this as Harley lets out a gasp.

"Noooo! We were just getting to the good part!" as Harley would whine and cry bout this, and Deadpool making plans of making the Author pay for making his hot girlfriend crying, while Killer Frost would looked at him feeling bit lost and a headache feeling inside of her head.

_"I knew I should've decline Black Masks bounty offer and stayed home tonight."_ were Frosts last thoughts.

Chapter end.

Wade: "You made my Harley cry!"

**DDK: "Now Wade, no need to get all upset I can explain everything."**

Wade: *Takes out the BFG from the newly Doom game*

**DDK "OH SHIT! DDK OUT!" *Runs away before Wade could pull the trigger***


End file.
